


Bone: Return to the Valley

by FemACO20



Category: Bone (Comic)
Genre: Comedy, Drama, F/M, Family, Friendship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-20
Updated: 2019-08-20
Packaged: 2020-09-19 05:17:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 10
Words: 21,345
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20325727
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FemACO20/pseuds/FemACO20
Summary: Three years after "Crown of Horns" and shortly after "The Quest for the Spark," Phoney Bone is chased out of Boneville with Fone Bone, Smiley, and Bartleby. At first, Fone Bone is happy to be back in the Valley, but Atheia's ancestral ceremony has brought foreign noble suitors after Thorn's hand. To make matters worse, spirits are crossing through the Dreaming in a centurial phenomenon called the Rising. New spirits bring chaos, and an old enemy still remains in the shadows.





	1. Out Again

Chapter One: Out Again  
Phoney Bone

Another scheme in Boneville was about to be a success. It was just the right size; not so big as running for mayor again, but certainly not small and boring.  
The sky was broad and blue, and the brick-paved town square was bustling with Bones.  
People piled out of their concrete apartments and painted suburban houses to walk past the shops for the newest sight.   
“Gather round, everyone!” I beckoned the crowds in the town square closer to me, and the ten-foot tall statue marble of myself. “See the work you paid and built as a grand finished product!” I seized the gilded cord of rope that drooped from the cloaking red velvet canvas. “Behold, a tribute to Phoncible P. Bone, one of the heroes of the Valley!” I yanked down the cord and canvas, revealing the monument of me in my spiked helmet, bearing my dagger and small, round shield in a heroic stance.  
The crowds applauded, cheered, and wolf-whistled.   
The red-coated school band tooted their brass horns, trombones, and tubas.  
Pride inflated my chest. I really was the greatest of the Bone cousins. They might be happier, but I was the high-flier of the family.  
I mimicked my statue’s pose. “Thank you very much, Citizens of Boneville,” I bowed and strode off. “You are far too kind.”  
“Wait a minute!” A voice snapped. It was Mr. Hambone, the old music teacher, who turned away from the band he had conducted. “Where are you going, Mr. Bone? Aren’t you supposed to pay us in return for this statue?”  
I froze in place. How could they remember? My scheme was ruined. “Ah, well,” I put on a tight smile. “I’ll pay all of the workers as soon as I—go home and get my money!” I took off.  
“He’s getting away again!” Ms. Fibone the mayor yelled. “Don’t let him escape!”  
“Grab your signs!” More voices burst from the crowd. “We’ll make sure Phoney never tricks us into another con!”  
I hadn’t been busted like this since the bad prune incident three years ago. That mess had sent my cousins across the desert, to a strange Valley where people used eggs as money, raced cows, and snow dropped in enormous sheets every winter. And I couldn’t forget the rat creatures and that creepy Hooded One who’d wanted to use me in a ritual sacrifice.   
I could either stay and face this mob, or I could run off with my cousins again and face new chaos, but also new schemes and suckers. Well, if the Valley had made me a town hero last time, what would another adventure do? It was crazy, but it might be worth it. I did need to find all that treasure Smiley threw away.   
I continued my flight back to the big, fancy manor house I’d swindled for my family.  
Townspeople pursued me, waving their old signs from the bad prune incident. They all bore the words EPBA: Exile Phoney Bone Again.   
“Get out, or we’ll bring out the tar and feathers!”  
“I know!” I waved up at the signs. “I’m going!”   
At last, the large white house with the marble steps and tall chestnut door stood before me.  
I threw the door open, slammed it shut, and thumped upstairs to the parlor where Fone Bone and Smiley usually hung out. I yanked the white door open.  
Fone Bone stood on the tasseled Arabic carpet and gazed out at the angry mob below.  
“Well, look who renewed our attention,” Smiley raised his head to me from his purple silk armchair where he sat beside Bartleby and smoked a fat cigar. “Did making everyone build you a statue without pay not go well?”  
I puffed in the doorway. “Pack your bags,” I gasped. “Let’s go back to the Valley.”  
“Will we see Thorn and Gran’ma Ben again?” Fone Bone followed me to my master bedroom and watched me bustle about, stuffing shirts into my suitcase.  
“Yes,” I dropped dollar bills, pens, and a fat stack of papers inside it.  
“And get away from your latest disastrous scheme?” Smiley looked over my head.  
“You think?” I shoved down the lid of the suitcase. “Folks are already toting signs about sending me out of town again!”  
“How are we going to get back to the Valley?” Fone Bone backed up against the wall as I headed off with my luggage.   
“Just get your things ready,” I grumbled as I thumped downstairs. “We’re taking the Queen of the Valley to Atheia.”   
Percival, Barclay, and Abbey were done with it now that they’d found Norman and Emmy. We could use it.   
“Oh boy,” Smiley pumped his fist. “I’m gonna go tell Bartleby to pack the freshly-baked stale bread thingies!” He dashed back into the parlor.  
Not the stale bread thingies. They’d given me more than enough trouble.

Soon, we all had our bags packed, and we headed down into Percival’s workshop.   
Percival jerked around from where he had been bent over the Queen. “What is it?”  
“We’re going back to the Valley!” I splayed my arms. “We need the Queen!”  
“Phoney made another disastrous scheme, the fame’s getting too big,” Smiley waved his hand, “So, can we borrow it? Please?”  
“Yes,” Percival twisted in a screw. “Help me push her outside, and you can sail off to the Valley.”  
We gathered around it and heaved it out of the workshop, through the open door, and onto the vast lawn.  
The shouts of the townspeople at the front of the house rose back to our ears.   
“Exile Phoney Bone! Exile Phoney Bone!” The crowd pumped their signs.  
“No, don’t exile him!” Ms. Fibone called. “Kill him!”  
“Yeah!” A war cry and fists rose from the crowd.  
Now I was really in hot water. I climbed a rope hanging from the deck of the Queen, and my cousins followed. I pulled open a trapdoor leading to the vast, dim wooden space below. “We’ll put our bags here.”  
Fone Bone and I crept down a series of squat steps into the space, each of us laden with luggage, and tossed the bags in the back. When we scrambled up to the deck and shut the trapdoor, Smiley had let up the three enormous balloons and had taken the wheel.  
The aerofoil slowly lifted from the grass, then above the house.  
The gasps of the crowds rushed up to our ears as we sailed past our house, past the crowds, and past the town square.  
“He’s escaping! Again!” Ms. Fibone threw her arm up.  
“Ah, forget him,” Mr. Hambone loped off. “Let’s just hope he doesn’t come back.”  
“So long, Suckers!” I waved above everyone, then gave the whole town a wet raspberry.  
We sailed over the small houses, past the green beyond the town, and watched the land brown and shrink into the desert beyond Boneville.  
“Shouldn’t you have considered the trouble that would come if you didn’t pay your workers for such a big project?” Fone Bone shook his head out into the hot, dry blue sky.  
“Hey, a vacation of sorts will give us all a break!” Smiley spread out his arms. “Hasn’t our life as local celebrities been a little too hectic lately?”  
“I haven’t had much quiet time to write poetry,” he nodded with a shrug.  
“Which is good, considering how bad it is,” I rolled my eyes. “Your light chestnut hair and your smooth, brown thigh all make me feel like I’m high in the sky,” I recited in a sarcastic drone. “I’m lost in a cloud in your violet-blue eyes.” God, I wanted to gag. “Thorn, why did I have to say goodbye? I wish that I had stayed by your side. Don’t forget me for any other guy.”  
“Phoney…” he gritted his teeth as red flushed to his face.  
“And here’s another great thing about leaving town!” Smiley broke in. “The townspeople get a break from Phoney’s bad schemes and attitude. I guess creativity doesn’t run in our family,” he leaned against the wheel.  
That was certainly true for him.  
“I can’t believe it’s been three years since we last saw the Valley,” Fone Bone gazed out.  
“You really do miss Thorn, don’t you?” I wanted to stick out my tongue.  
“And Gran’ma Ben, Ted, the Great Red Dragon,” he counted off his fingers. “Even the two stupid rat creatures.”  
“They’re Smelly and Stinky now, aren’t they?” Bartleby raised his ears.  
“They definitely smelled like compost and roadkill the last time we saw them,” Smiley lifted his eyes.   
“I just hope we don’t get into danger again,” my eyes lowered.  
“You have a point,” Fone Bone sighed. “Percival told us there was an attack on the Valley from another evil spirit. Hopefully everything’s all right.”  
Boneville was miles away now.   
All I could see was rock and sand. I knew what this meant. “Here you go, before you ask,” I handed Smiley a dollar bill. “We’re out in the middle of the desert.”  
“Thanks, cuz,” Smiley looked back at me before resuming his steering. “And when we go home, I know you’ll give me a gold coin from one of your schemes to con all the common folk in Atheia. So, what’ll it be?”  
“You’re thinking about another scheme?” Fone Bone gripped his head. “One just stuck us here in this aerofoil out of town!”  
“Don’t you think I know that?” I groaned. I was the smart one of the cousins. Not counting Percival, that is. “For once, I’m starting off slow and easy,” I held up my hand. “And even legal.”  
“Legal?” Smiley spat out his cigar. “I didn’t know you grew insane so quickly in the desert.”   
“Hey, we just got chased out of town again,” I waved my hand. “I want us to have a place to stay for a while. Everyone in the capital city will want our autographs after we saved the kingdom, so I’m going to take advantage of that by making them pay for them. Anything criminal about that?”  
Fone Bone paused. “It’s not the nicest thing to do, but you won’t be cheating anyone.”  
“Exactly!” I held up my finger. “But once I’ve gotten the legal money, I can come up with a real con.”  
“Now that’s the real you,” Smiley rubbed his hands together before taking the wheel again.  
“Phoney,” Fone Bone’s mouth clenched, “Haven’t you cared for anything besides your cousins and money?”  
The words struck me in the chest. Hadn’t I spent those hard years keeping him and Smiley safe? He ought to be grateful! I’d show him! “Of course I have,” I raised my nose. “I cared enough to build that orphanage and bake those prune tarts, didn’t I?”  
“Even though the orphanage was on a toxic landfill and the prunes gave everyone the fast-track sallies?” Smiley gave him a countering look.  
“Fine!” I threw down my arm. “I’m just saying I’m not a complete reclusive miser, all right?”  
“If that’s true, you could do to show it,” Fone Bone raised a thin eyebrow.  
I was fine as is! “Anyway,” I waved him off, “After I come up with a new scheme, I’ll try to find all that treasure you swapped for stale bread thingies.”  
“But you liked my stale bread thingies, didn’t you?” Smiley’s face dropped.  
“They weren’t as good as royal jewels,” my unibrow lowered.  
“Okay,” he slouched. “Well, I’m still surprised you’re starting off safe around getting money.”  
“You know what can happen there,” I shook my head down. “In Boneville, all I have to worry about is the angry townspeople. In the Valley, I have to worry about giant bees, rat creatures, and all sorts of evil mumbo-jumbo in addition to the angry townspeople. If I start off straightforward and fair, I can keep everyone calm so they’ll buy my next scheme easily.”  
“And that’s where the con comes in,” Smiley grinned. “What do you want the first one to be? The one after you get gold from the autographs?”   
The one that brought us here jumped back quickly. “I’m gonna make sure we all get statues in the square,” the glorious image of my warrior statue and Smiley’s silly one beside Fone Bone’s hung clear in my mind.  
“Yes!” He pumped his fist. “Can my statue play the banjo?”  
“Sure,” I gave a nod.   
“Thanks,” he gripped the wheel. “But you learned from this con to pay the workers, right?”  
“I’ll have enough autograph money for it,” I swallowed the message. And I didn’t want Thorn to send giant bees and rat creatures to attack me if she found out I’d conned her people. “But everyone gets a coin each.”  
“And they might not realize what building statues really costs,” his eyes brightened.  
“That’s right,” I pointed to him. “Then, I’ll have them help me find that treasure.”

———————————————————————————————————————


	2. The Attack on the Queen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Bone cousins and Bartleby crash their airship on Flint Ridge and walk the rest of the way to Atheia. They run into a cavalry from a neighboring kingdom, who bring them to the castle.

Chapter Two: The Attack on the Queen  
Fone Bone

Phoney and Smiley, coming up with more cons again. The only time they didn’t was when they had bigger things to think about. If new trouble showed up, they’d realize what mattered for a while.  
Hot, tangible air brushed against my side and made it tingle. Something wasn’t right. Something strange and unseen was out there. Then, I sensed, almost saw an enormous mass of energy beside the Queen. The sudden, large force shoved at the side of the aerofoil, lurching it to the right.  
Bartleby and Smiley fell backwards from the wheel, while Phoney and I gripped the railing.  
“Sorry,” Bartleby winced as his bulk pressed into Smiley’s ribs.  
“What was that?” I pulled myself straight.  
“Something big,” Smiley panted and rubbed the side of his head. “Could it have been an invisible dragon?”  
“Nah, that’s impossible,” Phoney pulled himself upright. “Isn’t it, dragon master Fone Bone?” He turned to me.  
“I don’t know,” I shivered. Could that have been some sort of…ghost dragon? That creature, whatever it had been, had to have something to do with the Dreaming. The Dreaming was a force of spiritual magic that encompassed the Valley. All were influenced by it, but only a few beings such as the dragons and people known as Veni-Yan-Cari, or awakened ones, could interact with it.   
No matter what that creature was, there was always something new in the Valley. I gazed down again to find the desert had changed into the cliffs and plateaus around Flint Ridge. I’d missed the forest where Thorn and Gran’ma Ben used to live? At least we were back in the Valley, and would soon be at the palace where they lived now.   
Then, another force surged forward from the sky and wrapped around the Queen. The aerofoil’s wood groaned under the unseen pressure.  
“Uh-oh,” I readied myself. I had a bad feeling about what this could lead to.  
The aerofoil flew on, but crooked, lopsided.  
“Get off the aerofoil!” Phoney screamed down.  
“How could this possibly get any worse?” I gritted my teeth.  
Then, more large forces, their auras almost visible, came down on the aerofoil. Long tails coiled around the ship, great wings dragged us through the sky.   
Cracks came from either side of the ship. Was the hull breaking?  
The balloons seemed to be squeezed tight by enormous coils. They couldn’t pop. If they did, we’d fall miles.  
“One of you!” Phoney yelled up. “Do something!”  
“In here!” Smiley threw the trapdoor open, and we all leapt below.  
“We can’t push them off,” my wide eyes darted about. “They’re too big, there are too many of them—”  
“What do you mean?” Phoney gripped his head. “Fone Bone!” He jerked his head to me. “Did your insane love for Moby Dick inspire you to bring a harpoon?”  
“No,” I gulped.   
“Oh, great!” He slapped his face. “We’re screwed!”   
Then, there came a bang. Then a second. And a third. A horrible feeling rose in my throat. Those bangs sounded like exploding latex balloons.  
The forces uncoiled from the aerofoil.   
“All right!” Smiley pumped his fist.  
And the ship dropped through the sky.  
A very tense pause hung in the hull.   
The balloons were gone.   
We were hundreds of feet in the air.   
This meant only one thing.  
“YEEEEAAAAAAAAA!!!!” We screamed as the ship plunged down.  
“Where are we gonna crash?” Phoney flailed his arms.   
I climbed out to see a tall cliff of a mountain rise below us. “Flint Ridge!” I darted back below.  
“Thank God we’re not too far from Atheia!” He shook my shoulders.  
We dropped faster. When would we hit the cliffs?  
CHUNK. A wide point of rock impaled the aerofoil, jabbing right between my trio of cousins and Bartleby.  
“Is-is everybody okay?” I squeaked.  
“We must be right on the peak!” Bartleby gasped.  
We were stable. Then, the hull groaned again. There was a slow, slicing sound behind us. And the Queen of the Valley tipped forward, the rock sawed through the back, and we slid straight down the mountain.  
“Ya-Hoo-Hoo!” Smiley hollered.  
Bump! Whack! The remains of the Queen bounced and bonked off of mounds of rock.  
Then the Queen smashed nose-first into the Great Basin with a CRUNCH.  
Everyone slid down to the bow and collided into a heap.  
“Uhh…” I crawled my way out from under us, pain jabbing through me. “At least we all seem to be in one piece.”  
“What are we gonna do now?” Phoney pushed himself up and climbed out of the gaping, broken hole in the back. “Our flying machine’s totaled, and Atheia’s miles away!”  
“But you did say we’re not too far,” I rubbed my throbbing head. “We crashed in the Great Basin. If we find Pawa Road, we should find Atheia.” Maybe we could even meet someone on the road who could take us there.  
“At least getting the aerofoil wrecked isn’t so bad,” he grumbled. “We don’t want to return to Boneville for a while, and it’s September. We’ll worry about the Queen once the giant snow has melted.”  
“Hey, look!” Smiley waved us over to him. “Our luggage rolled down with us!”  
We clambered down in his direction.  
Sure enough, our duffel bags and suitcases lay scattered around the wreck of the Queen.   
Phoney dashed to his suitcase and flung it open. “Yes! It’s all here!”  
Smiley put on his backpack, then attached Bartleby’s saddle bags.  
Phoney, Smiley, and I grabbed our suitcases, and we all limped off.  
After some walking, I turned to Bartleby. “Do you know where we are?”  
His mouth furrowed. “We crashed on the east side of Flint Ridge, Pawa Road is to the south,” he turned us in a downward right angle. “We should keep going this way.”  
“I can’t believe it,” Phoney griped down as we headed onward. “I just can’t believe it.”  
“That we’re out of town again?” I let him draw up to me.  
“How could those ghost dragons just show up, drag us here, and wreck our ship?” He flung up his arms. “Where did they come from? What do they have against us? I’ve never conned a dragon! Well, maybe the whole dragon slayer thing…” His eyes trailed off.  
“Flint Ridge is close to Tanen Gard, where the dragons lived,” I pointed out.  
“That could be where the ghost dragons came from.”   
“But we never saw ghost dragons the last time we were in the Valley,” he threw down his hand. “Did we?”  
“You’re right,” I rubbed my lip. “I didn’t see any of them when we first showed up.”  
“Could this be some new spooky phenomenon?” Smiley wiggled his fingers.  
I laid my finger between my closed eyes, the method I remembered Thorn doing to feel the Dreaming.   
The air around me felt denser, more humid, more electric.  
Large shapes stalked around us. Were they the same as the ones who had crashed our aerofoil?  
“Things are…here,” I lowered my finger, and when I opened my eyes, the shapes became invisible again. “They don’t seem to want to bother us, though.”  
“Great,” Phoney sighed. “The less mumbo-jumbo creatures in our way, the better. Let’s just get onto Pawa Road and get to the palace.”   
The ground was dotted by sharp stones of various sizes, from pebbles to distant ledges. As we drew forward, we came to a wide path cut between the rocks.  
“Hello, Pawa Road!” Smiley strummed his banjo.  
“Now we just have to head south,” Phoney punched his palm. “If only we had a lift to really get us there.”  
We loped down the road, a breeze brushing the tops of our heads.  
A few small birds hopped and chirped along, poking at insects that crawled up from the rocks.  
A strange sort of rumbling touched the backs of our ears.  
“What’s that?” Phoney jerked around. “Another ghost dragon?”  
I tried to discern the rumbling. Was it thunder? It seemed composed of multiple, smaller, rhythmic sounds. Clop-clop, clop-clop, clop-clop, clop-clop. As we stood still, the sound drew closer. It all clicked in me. “Everyone get out of the way!” I charged across the paths to the tall rocks on the other side. “A whole lot of hoofed animals are coming!”  
“Thorn and Gran’ma Ben set up a cow race here?” Phoney dived after me with Smiley and Bartleby behind.   
I peered out as the hoofbeats grew louder.  
Then, sights emerged with the sounds.  
It wasn’t cows; it was horses. Roughly twelve in all, six draft horses laden with precious-looking cargo, six slender horses topped with riders.   
Most of the riders were men in helmets and breastplates, swords and daggers at their belts. But their armor was different than what I had seen on the Atheian guards or Pawan soldiers. Did they come from somewhere outside of the Valley?   
The rider in the middle was the only one without armor. Or facial hair. He was distinctly younger than the men around him, looking about Thorn’s age. The early afternoon sun glinted off the silver brocade on his blue tunic. A rich red cape billowed from his shoulders. Something told me he’d be trouble.   
The three riders in front came to a halt where we had been.   
“What is it?” The middle rider stopped his horse.  
“Someone seems to have left their luggage on the road, Sire,” the guard front and center dismounted. “Perhaps another dignitary coming to the ancestral ceremony?”  
My eyes jumped around. I’d panicked so much, I’d dropped my bag. My mind jumped to its contents, a quarter to half of which composed of love poems for Thorn. That guard had better not—  
He bent down and flicked open the latch with a click.  
“What do you see in there?” The middle rider leaned forward.  
“Well, there certainly is a fellow interested in wooing the queen’s hand,” the guard lifted a piece of paper from the suitcase. “He has quite the collection of odes here.”  
My whole body went stiff.  
“Would you like to take a look at what he might perform at the court, Sire?” He held up the love poem to the middle rider.  
No, no, no, no.  
“Read it aloud, Captain!” Another guard in front called. “We all ought to hear potential skill at pleasing the queen.”  
“I suppose we could hear it,” the middle rider smiled. “If he has been practicing, he must have some talent.”  
They couldn’t laugh. I prayed they couldn’t.  
The captain cleared his throat and flipped the poem back to his face. “I may be short, with a large nose, and skin that’s just like ivory,” his recitation burned into me. “But I know that no other guy will be dearer to you than I’ll be!”  
The men burst into guffaws.  
“It must be one of his earlier works,” the middle rider chuckled.  
“Do any of you want to hear another?” A guard called around. “Let’s see what else this fellow’s written!”   
I’d written that poem yesterday. If that poem made them all laugh, the others would, too! “We have to do something!” I clutched my scarlet face.  
“I might have an idea,” Smiley’s eyes focused.  
“Go for it!” I threw out my arms.  
“Hey!” He burst forward, flailing his arms. “Caravan of bigwigs! We need your help!”  
I slapped myself across the face.  
“Who are you?” The captain stepped back, eyes narrow above his long black mustache.  
“We are the Bones, the heroes of the Valley!” Smiley ushered us forward, “I’m Smiley Bone, this is my rat creature, Bartleby, this is Phoney Bone,” he pointed them all out, “And this is Fone Bone!” He held out his hand as I edged forward, face tight and burgundy.  
“Fone Bone?” The middle rider pushed forward on his cream-colored horse. “The one the Atheian stories say helped the queen defeat the Lord of Nightmares?”  
He was more handsome up close. If he met Thorn, I was doomed. “Yes,” I gave a quick nod. “And I’m—very good friends with the poet who wrote all that,” I pulled my poem from the captain’s hand, stuffed it back in the suitcase, and slammed the lid shut.  
“We flew here in an aerofoil, but it ran into some ghost dragons and crashed into Flint Ridge,” Phoney spoke up. “We were wondering if we could ride with you to the palace of Atheia.”  
“Yes,” the middle rider held up his hand after a pause. “Behind myself and the guards, not on the luggage.”  
“Thank you, Sire!” He gave a showy bow and climbed upon the captain’s horse with his suitcase.  
I hoisted myself behind the middle rider; I had to keep an eye on him.  
With everyone else on their horses, the captain mounted himself in front of Phoney, and we rode off.  
“I heard you have an interest in the queen, Mr. Fone Bone,” the middle rider looked back at me.   
“Interest?” I tried to blink with wide eyes. “What would make you think that, um, Sire?”  
“You seemed very concerned about those poems,” his gray eyes narrowed. “And, well…” He traced over me, “I’m sorry we mocked you.”  
“Thanks,” I sighed down. “Who are you? I’ve never seen guards like yours in the Valley.”  
“I’m Prince Fiore,” he lifted his eyes. “I’m from Eria, the land north of Atheia.”  
Dang it.  
“We come from outside the Valley, too,” Smiley half-leaned to him from his horse. “We’re from Boneville, a big town past the desert in the upper west territory. Why are you going to Atheia again?”  
“The kingdom will have its ancestral ceremony tonight,” he lifted a hand on the reins. “All sorts of dignitaries like myself are coming to visit Queen Thorn and participate in her land’s customs.”  
“Have you met her? Do you like her?” He edged forward in his saddle.  
No, Fiore couldn’t have. And even if he did meet her, she wasn’t into him.  
“I tried to greet her the past two years, but some king or sultan got in the way,” he lowered his arms.  
Thank goodness for them. Hopefully this year would be the same. At least I knew Thorn was partial to blondes; Fiore’s dark hair wouldn’t stand a chance.  
As my eyes trailed off, they caught a large white figure upon a ledge. It was shaped like a—rat creature? But it couldn’t be. They only came in black, brown, and gray. Was it albino? Whatever it was bounded off as we moved forward.   
“So, what’s this ancestral ceremony about?” Phoney waved his hand behind Fiore. “Any big crowds? Souvenirs and food from everywhere?”  
“In Atheia, everyone lights candles at the shrines, and tries to reach out to those who have gone to the spirit realm,” the smile dropped from Fiore’s face. “At the palace shrine, Queen Thorn leads a prayer ritual in honor of the rulers before her. The candle-lighting starts at sundown, and after the prayers, everyone shares a banquet that brings the lands together.”  
“Great, it’s Dia de los Muertos,” he grumbled.   
“At least there’s a party with food!” Smiley gave him a big grin to try to cheer him up. 

———————————————————————————————————————


	3. Reunion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thorn reunites with the Bone cousins and feels attraction again. Rose tells them about the Rising, when spirits cross into the mundane world.

Chapter Three: Reunion  
Thorn

I sat on the lightly cushioned chair before the vanity in my room. This was one of the few quiet moments I would have today.  
When the ancestral ceremony came, so did dignitaries from all over. I had to say hello to all of them, share a few meals and dances. Some of them would try to get closer to me, but I didn’t want any guy to fool me again. Besides, my desires for men didn’t matter today; I would see the tombs of my parents tonight and try to reach out to their spirits. I knew Mother was proud of all I’d done since I took the throne.  
I tied my hair back into a loose ponytail with a long green ribbon, the style I’d enjoyed as a village girl. The memories at that house with the Bone cousins floated back. How long had it been since I’d seen them? I’d met so many people in the past three years, but it would be wonderful to see their familiar faces.  
“Are you looking forward to the ceremony, Thorn?” Gran’ma turned my head. “Lots of people are already coming from all over.”  
The ancestral ceremony. My mind leapt meters to the royal tombs, where I would lead the ritual. “I will like seeing everyone together,” I slipped in my earrings. “I only wish Lucius and the Bones could be with us.”  
“I know,” her smile fell. “But at least Lucius will be watching us in the spirit realm.”  
The doors opened, and Mermie poked her head through.  
“Has someone else come?” I rose from my seat at the vanity.   
For the past few days, foreign royalty after foreign royalty had filed into the palace. Part of me worried the guest quarters would get cramped. And Mermie encouraging me to have greater interest in them didn’t help.  
“Yes, my Queen,” she turned around, “I think you’ll be delighted to see them. They came all this way from Boneville.”  
Boneville? Fone Bone, Phoney, and Smiley were back? Maybe it was Percival, Abbey, and Barclay. Or both?   
I pushed past her and dashed all the way to the front gates.  
Twelve horses of various sizes stood before the palace, each with various forms of luggage, and six with dismounting riders.   
Guards and servants brought down suitcases, chests, and parcels from the backs of the steeds.  
And in front of them all were three familiar, large-nosed faces and one lop-eared rat creature.  
“Hi, Thorn,” Fone Bone took a step forward.  
“Fone Bone!” I yanked him up in a tight hug. “I can’t believe you’ve come back,” I kissed his nose and lowered him to the ground again. After three years, I hadn’t known whether he would return to the Valley.  
“I’m really glad to see you, too,” red rose to his cheeks as he smiled at me.  
“Bartleby! Smiley! Phoney Bone!” I hugged Bartleby and shook the others’ hands. “I never thought I’d see you again.”   
“The townspeople got angry at another con of Phoney’s,” Smiley tutted down at him with a chuckle.  
Oh dear. Phoney always got them into trouble, didn’t he? “How did you return to the Valley with all these people?” I raised my head to the men around the horses.   
“We flew all the way to Flint Ridge in Percival’s aerofoil,” Fone Bone lifted a finger, “But spirit dragons surrounded us and crashed our vehicle.”  
Spirit dragons? First the Nacht spreading darkness through the Valley, and now this? Was something going on in the Dreaming?  
“We came to Pawa Road,” he continued, “Where we met these men from Eria and asked to join them on their way here,” he gestured to the men.  
From Eria? Those Northern dignitaries I never seemed to greet properly?   
I traced over the men in armor. Their clothing seemed richer than the fabric in Atheia, their helmets smoother and more polished.  
The youngest man, the one without armor, straightened and turned from his palomino.  
I caught his gray eyes. It was if the cobblestones beneath my feet filled with air, air that rushed hot into my head. This wasn’t the first time I’d felt disconnected because I looked at someone.   
I recalled the time I went to the fairgrounds with Fone Bone, before I took my place as the new queen. There had been a boy named Tom, a honey-seller with strong arms and golden hair. He had flattered me, and we spent a short afternoon chatting on the grounds. But then he found another girl named Jasmine and did it all again with her. He made Fone Bone jealous for nothing.   
What was I doing with this feeling inside me again? Would this boy be any different? I tore my eyes down from his face to his chest, flattened the ground a bit.   
He wasn’t a guard. Who was he? I lifted my eyes to his face again. There was a little Tom in the cut of his nose. But his jawline was softer, and the hair that framed his face was a shining raven. He seemed wider-eyed, his frame tight in some places and a bit wobbly in others.  
“Queen Thorn,” he put two fingers to the bridge of his nose in the recognition of my dreaming eye. “It was an honor to bring your friends here.”  
“I’m glad to finally see you,” I sucked in a breath as I returned the sign. No matter what was going on inside my head, I had to be composed. Going to Mother’s tomb and being with the Bones again mattered more than the return of these feelings. “I’m sorry things kept getting in our way. And this only shows how I’m still getting to know everyone, but—who are you?”   
“Prince Fiore of Eria,” his eyes warmed further.   
This fellow might be the same sort that Tom was. But Tom was all about competing and getting women. Fone Bone had to have displayed his crush on me to Fiore. If Fiore was like Tom, he’d never help a rival.  
“Well, Sire,” Fone Bone’s voice snapped me straight, “I know you would love to talk to Thorn, but the queen and I have a lot of catching up to do,” he looped an arm around my back. “We haven’t seen each other in three years, and you can talk to her at the banquet, so—let’s chat later!” With that, he shoved me back into the palace.   
My head cleared, and he came into sharper focus.  
“I still can’t believe it’s been three years,” he shook his head. “What’s been happening in the Valley? Percival and the twins told me all about that nightmare spirit. Is everything fine now?”  
“It is,” I breathed out. “Life is back to normal, but work at the palace has been busy,” my eyes lowered. “Duties of the queen and all.”  
“That—Fiore told me there’s an ancestral ceremony tonight,” he glanced back in the direction of the gates. “It would be nice to join you.”  
“I’d love it,” my eyes shone. “Thank you.” It would be easier to face the lives the Locust had taken from me with Fone Bone around.   
But when I followed his eyes, half of me stood at the gates with Fiore. That part of me had to hurry inside.   
Fone Bone knew too well what had trickled into me. He wouldn’t let it come between us.  
The knowledge of that was a strange comfort. It kept me sure now, but what if my heart changed? I’d gotten used to ruling and danger seemed gone. Maybe I could move forward. But I was with Fone Bone, not at the gates.   
Something contracted within. If only I could see him the way he saw me. The spirit dragons he mentioned floated back. “If you had an experience with spirits, maybe we should tell Gran’ma about it.”  
“Tell me what?” She strode up to us. “It’s wonderful to finally see you again, Fone Bone,” she smiled at him.  
“It’s great to see you again as well, Gran’ma Ben,” he returned the smile. “The aerofoil my cousins came back in was crashed by spirit dragons,” his face dropped. “I couldn’t see them, but I could sense them.”  
Gran’ma’s mouth furrowed. “Teacher told me it was coming.”  
“What?” My face tensed. Was there something I hadn’t heard because of my duties?  
“The Rising,” she turned around. “A time every hundred years when activity in the Dreaming grows so strong, it spills over into our world.”  
“You mean there will be ghost circles again?” Fone Bone stepped back.  
“That was the Locust breaking through the veil between the realms with raw force,” her eyes tightened. “The Rising is a sublime but natural phenomenon where all spirits, good and evil, have equal access to our world. There will likely be no ghost circles, but spirits will come to this world or speak through the veil. Our ancestors grow stronger, as do other protective spirits and malevolent forces,” her brows lowered. “I’m worried another attack is coming.”  
What could come after the Nacht? The back of my neck tensed. “But if our ancestors and the protective spirits are growing stronger, they’ll help us with whatever will come,” I spoke half to myself. “Won’t they?”  
“Most good spirits communicate with us at a distance,” she gazed out. “The nature spirits and house spirits are the exceptions.”  
And they weren’t always trustworthy; I remembered Lorimar and how she had been caught between good and evil.  
“But you’re right that the good spirits will help,” she firmed herself. “At least they’ll alert us of anything dangerous.”  
“Speaking of dangerous things,” Fone Bone spoke up, “Have you seen an albino rat creature around here?”  
Albino rat creature? “We’ve just seen Smelly and Stinky around stealing scraps,” I raised my eyes. “Where did you see this rat creature?”  
“On the cliffs above Pawa Road,” he touched his small chin.  
“I heard there was an outcast rat creature,” Gran’ma’s mouth pursed. “Who could only rely on the Locust. Maybe you saw him. The destruction of the Locust must have brought him out into the open. He’s one of the few rat creatures with a name; Yldik.”

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	4. The Mistress of Chaos

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Lord of the Locusts still exists, weak but freed from Mim. A rogue rat creature helps him take advantage of the Rising to plot a sneak attack against Thorn, Rose, and Fone Bone. The plan relies on a day demoness known for stirring discord.

Chapter Four: The Mistress of Chaos  
Yldik  
My feet stepped down from one ledge onto the next, and the light grew cold as I crept into the cave.  
The travelers I’d observed came from Boneville? The land where those creatures had come from? Creatures like the One Who Bears the Star, who had defeated my master? I sensed energy from one of the travelers; was he the One Who Bears the Star himself? If he had returned, something new would begin.   
The energy of the Rising vibrated through the world, and the spirits of the Dreaming burst through the barrier or spoke through it.  
My master would strengthen again.  
The clicking of my claws on the stone echoed off the stone walls of the long passage.   
I reached out my good arm as my wide nostrils breathed in the stale scent of old rock and marble.   
My feet stepped down once more, and I drew forward to find flat ground. Here was the hall.  
What little light touched the film of my eye vanished.  
Yet there were two sparks of heat in the shadows, and I knew what they were. My master had been freed from the dragon for three years now, yet he was weak and still resided in this temple, where other beings like him would gather. The ones I had been forced to call my kin believed he was destroyed, along with most of the Valley. But I knew who the Nacht truly was. My old master, under a lie to give them all a false sense of security. Only I knew, and only I remained. He had told me to stay behind when he swept through the Valley again, but now that his plan had failed, it could be my turn to act.   
“I have been out to Pawa Road, My Lord,” I spoke to the sparks. “The Bones have returned to the Valley just in time for the Rising. The One Who Bears the Star senses it just as we do.”  
“Did you approach them?” A cold voice echoed off the walls of the chamber.  
“No,” I drew my arm in. “Someone was with them, a foreign noble here for the ceremony, surrounded by cavalry. If I came forward, he and his men would have fought me off. I apologize, My Lord.”  
“It is only a minor loss,” the voice lightened. “I hoped you would come here, Yldik. I have a great thing to ask of you.”  
“What is it, My Lord?” I stepped forward, my heart beating quicker. I knew my time would be soon. “Do you wish me to be at your side when you join the spirits who have come to the Waking?”  
“I cannot resurface at the moment,” the voice sharpened. “A few years ago, I thought I needed to be stronger at once to bring nightmares to the world. But the Veni-Yan-Cari are seeing the spirits and will expect me to return in one of my forms. I want them to have a different spirit to face, make them unready before I rise again.”  
“But what sort of spirit?” I spread out my arm. “What spirit could be as powerful as your Lordship?”  
“Not as powerful,” his voice drew back. “More…unpredictable.”  
“But doesn’t unpredictability mean doubtful loyalty?” I held out my claw.  
“I know,” his voice lowered. “But she will be so grateful for her freedom, she will not disobey me.”  
She? “Are you considering bringing back your former servant?” From what I had heard from Agak, her body wasn’t in the right shape for another resurrection.  
“I am finished with Briar,” his voice firmed. “She was promising, but ultimately a failure. The one I want is the Mistress of Chaos, a spirit active in the daylight hours, strengthened by bright environments and warmth.”  
She certainly didn’t sound like him.   
“While her position as a diurnal demon sounds lacking, she is far from harmless,” his voice firmed. “Many wars in this Valley have come from her doing. A hundred years ago, she was trapped in the Dreaming for her actions. She delights in feeding enmity, making feuds wider and deeper. If everyone is fighting each other, they cannot fight against us.”  
“You have quite the plan, My Lord,” a grin spread across my mouth. “What do we do to call forth this Mistress of Chaos?”  
“Reach out your claws, take two stones and strike a fire,” he instructed. “Your bad arm can work enough for that.”  
I reached down in the dark and took two hard, jagged objects. I rubbed them together close to the ground, and hot, bright flames soon erupted.   
“Spirit imprisoned, the time has come to pass through the veil and return to the realm you loved,” my master’s voice now echoed through the cave.   
The fire began to rise in a column.  
“Mistress of Chaos, I call to you!” His voice rang through me. “The Rising is here, return to bring rue. Serve me and regain freedom or stay there in your cell. Will this deal bring you back in the Waking to dwell?”   
The fiery column shot up to the top of the cave, its light sharp on the film of my eye.  
Then, a blast of new, smoky light came from the center of the column and blew the flames out with a swirling whoosh of cold air.  
The light gathered itself into a form in the darkness. It seemed to be shaped like a human woman, but its eyes were bright spots, like the eyes of my master.  
“Ooh,” a sultry female voice groaned from the shape. “One hundred years can give you such a crick in the neck. What is this place? Dark chamber, ugly albino rat creature, and—oh, My Lord,” her voice became a touch flustered.  
My eye bulged. She was the spirit my master wanted?  
“Mistress of Chaos,” my master’s voice stayed cool. “I am in need of your assistance. Will you join my service in exchange for your freedom?”  
“Of course I’ll accept your bargain,” she chuckled. “Only a fool would refuse you. I never thought the great Lord of Nightmares would take interest in a day demon,” “What are you interested in? Something to excite you in the morning?”  
“The Rising has begun once more, and the Veni-Yan-Cari expect an appearance from me,” the voice stayed firm. “You must go to Atheia and confuse them with your mischief.”  
“With pleasure, My Lord,” her voice lowered seductively. “I’ll make sure the queen is so busy with me, she’ll think you’re back in action. Is the sun still in the sky?”  
“It will set in a brief while.”  
“Then I’ll get to this right away,” she started to fly off. “You know light makes me stronger.”   
“There are things you should be aware of,” my master stopped her. “The current Queen of Atheia is a powerful Veni-Yan-Cari. She will be busy with the ancestral ceremony and the gentlemen who have come to see her, but that does not mean she will not notice you. Still, her lack of nightmares may ease her guard.”  
“I’ll get the gentlemen to distract her,” her voice grew more firm. “If she likes any food the suitors bring, I’ll waft it right to her. If she’s got courting on her list, handling us might take a back seat.”  
“With the queen is a second Veni-Yan-Cari, the One Who Bears the Star,” he continued. “He and his cousins come from a land beyond our Valley, a land of creatures formed from the bones of slain dragons. He does not understand his abilities as much as the queen, but he will know if anything is unusual. He is also very protective of the queen, so be wary of him if you attempt to approach her.”  
“Queen, foreign bodyguard made of bone, understood,” the Mistress of Chaos’s voice loosened. “Anything else?”  
“The queen’s grandmother is a weaker Veni-Yan-Cari, but you should be aware of her as well. That is all.”  
“I’ll keep everyone busy at the palace, My Lord,” she seemed to soar off with a swoosh. “An ancestral ceremony with fine men should give me quite a few opportunities.”  
A pause hung in the air after her. How could my master want a day demon to assist him, especially one who seemed to take important orders so lightly?   
“I have a task for you as well, Yldik,” my master spoke once more.   
“Yes?” I raised my head.  
“I saw doubt in your face when you observed the Mistress of Chaos,” his voice drew in. “I would like you to follow her. Your snout and ears may pick up things she will not notice.”   
“I will do so, My Lord,” I bowed and spun away.  
“Wait,” his voice rose behind me.  
“Is there something else you require?” I turned back.   
“You mentioned a foreign noble with the One Who Bears the Star,” his voice seemed to trail up. “You said he was why you could not come forward.”  
“That is true,” I nodded. “Why does he draw your interest?”  
“My servant before you reported that the One Who Bears the Star has great affection for the queen,” he thought aloud. “Did that nobleman appear to be someone who could interfere with his hopes?”  
“His voice is one of grown youth,” I recalled its tenor. “But why do you ask this, My Lord?” I held out my claw. “How can we benefit from jealousy in the One Who Bears the Star?”   
“If hatred for a potential suitor tears the One Who Bears the Star from his queen,” his voice lowered, “The queen is left vulnerable.”  
Now it all came together within me. “I must tell the Mistress of Chaos this,” I raised a long front toe. “She can do much with this news.”  
“Let there be good fortune for both of you,” he sent me off.  
I pounded out of the cave, back into the night air. “Mistress!” I skidded up to the form with small spots of light.  
“Oh, it’s the rat creature,” her voice narrowed. “Did our master send you to help me? Or does he think I need supervision?”  
“There is something that may be useful to you,” I held out my claw. “A young gentleman was in the band with the One Who Bears the Star.”  
“I already plan to stir the queen’s heart, as you heard,” she brushed it off.  
“But you didn’t hear that the One Who Bears the Star has great affection for the queen,” my eye gleamed.  
“Wait, are you saying…” Her voice brightened. “I love jealousy! Ooh, if I make him so obsessed with getting that hunk out of the way, getting the queen will be a piece of cake. All I have to do is find him.”  
“The One Who Bears the Star?” I leaned forward.  
“Yes, him too,” she acknowledged. “What did the cutie look like?” Her eyes tilted.  
I paused.   
“Hello?” Her eyes briefly vanished behind smoke. “You can’t see, can you?”  
“I can detect light,” I clenched my crooked fangs.   
“So, you can see my eyes, but not the rest of me,” she grumbled. “You really will be a big help.”   
I recalled the light that had hit my eye when I observed the creatures from Boneville. “I know the young man came with an armored guard.” There had been hot spots of light, spots that came from sunlight reflecting off of metal. I’d heard hoofbeats; their sound and vibration had brought me from the shadows.  
“Then he’s not likely to be alone,” she thought aloud. “I can work with that.”  
“How?” My eye squinted.  
She disappeared.  
“By holding your hand in front of your face?” I put a claw to my side.  
“I was invisible,” her eyes reappeared. “But I can pass as smoke if I hide my eyes.”  
Thank goodness she wasn’t pink with yellow polka dots.  
“Go to the palace and begin your service,” I pointed forward.  
“I know,” her eyes raised. “But you’re not my master. What’s the name of the queen, by the way?”  
“Thorn.”  
“Thanks,” she zipped off. “I would’ve hoped you’d come with me, but I have a feeling one thing that hasn’t changed in a hundred years is the hatred of ugly albino rat creatures.”  
I’d only put up with her for my master. 

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	5. Spirits Rising

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fone Bone and Thorn attend a meeting of Veni-Yan-Cari, those with the ability to sense and enter the spirit world.

Chapter Five: Spirits Rising  
Thorn

So many things pounded in me. Fone Bone and his cousins were back, along with Bartleby. But a new spirit phenomenon called the Rising had come. And there was—no, Fiore wasn’t important. All that mattered now was that I was with Fone Bone. My family was complete again.   
Mermie darted up to us. “Your Majesties,” she panted.  
“What is it?” I turned around.  
“You haven’t told the new guests where they’re staying,” she rubbed her skirt smooth. “Maids are waiting to carry their luggage to their rooms.”   
Oh. I had to face Fiore again? “Are they still outside?” I hurried back to the gates.  
Gran’ma and Fone Bone thumped behind.  
“Half of the Erian guard’s at the stable,” she tried to keep up with us. “But no one else has moved much.”  
I skidded to a stop under the arch.  
Sure enough, six maids stood at the gates with the newcomers, ready to take the luggage from the Bones and Fiore.  
“There you are!” Phoney threw out his arm. “Captain Mustache here just said your castle might be a bit cramped with a bunch of other guys,” he jabbed a thumb at a tall Erian guard with the finest armor and an elegant black mustache.  
“A few convoys have come here already,” I let out an understatement, “But some of them are tenting outside. There should be enough rooms and attached estates for you.”  
“Bartleby and I can stay with the horses,” Smiley scratched behind his ears.  
“And I’m calling the room on the third floor with the chimney,” Phoney crossed his arms. “I get cold easily.”  
“They’re yours,” I gestured them to the maids.  
“Thanks!” He thrust his suitcase into a maid’s hand and strode off.  
“I can take care of my own bags,” Smiley waved another maid away and headed to the stables with Bartleby.  
“Do you still have your bedroll?” Fone Bone turned to me. “I was thinking, maybe I could borrow it and…”  
“I have a room next door to mine,” I waved my hand. “There’s a couch you can use.”  
“You mean it?” Pink rushed into his face. “I-I mean, I’ll love it, I—”  
“You’re welcome,” I chuckled. Then, my eyes turned to the remaining guests, and it was my turn to get red in the face. I tried to make my inhale look easy. “What part of the castle do you want to stay in?” My eyes jumped between Fiore’s face and his tunic.  
“I hope the far left estate is still open,” he helped “Captain Mustache” unlace luggage from one of the draft horses.  
“It is,” I winced as the maid took one large crate and wobbled with it. But it wasn’t that close.  
“I’ll carry that,” he scooped it up from her. “There’s a flat pan on top that should be all right for you.”   
“Oh, thank you,” she giggled and took a wide, covered cast iron pan from the captain.  
“You’re good with staff,” I watched Fiore help more maids join in unloading.  
“Work is one thing that kept me out of trouble at home,” he laid down the crate, moved onto the next horse, and started to untie the knot of ropes that bound the luggage to the saddle. “I was often in the way of my parents and brother when I was little.”  
“Are you the younger sibling?” I drew the dagger from my sash and cut the thin ropes on top of the luggage.  
“I was the pesky spare,” he blinked admirably as I sheathed my dagger.   
“And I was the overgrown only child,” I shook my head at my past.   
The rest of the Erian guard returned and joined us around the draft horses.  
“We’re staying in the far left estate,” Fiore gestured out.  
“Thank you, Sire,” a guard bowed deeply with bright eyes.  
“What’s good about having the far left estate this year?” the captain handed him a lumpy package.  
“We’re in the perfect spot,” he stuck the package under his arm and grabbed another. “Good food nearby, no disruptive neighbors.”   
“And the queen’s finally seen Fio,” the captain pointed to us. “This will be the best year we’ve had.”  
“How are they doing?” The first guard watched the captain take a large box.  
“The queen’s impressed,” the captain trucked ahead to the estate. “She blushes at the sight of him.”   
“Lord Hirsit is going to knock over his smelly soup,” the guard followed the captain out of view. “Pawa is out, Eria is in!”  
My stomach dropped. This convoy was more like the others than I’d hoped.  
“Easy on the excitement,” Fiore jogged after them with his own crate. “This should be a holiday, not a competition.”  
Or maybe it was just a few guards. My gut lifted again.   
“Who was that young gentleman?” Mermie batted her eyes at my face.  
Hadn’t I had enough? “Prince Fiore,” I breathed between my teeth.  
“You didn’t speak to him last year, did you?” Her small eyes drifted up. “He seems nice.”  
More red flared in my cheeks.  
“I believe we need time to ourselves, Mermie,” Gran’ma spoke up behind her.  
“Oh,” she drew in her hands. “My apologies, Your Majesties.”  
“Fun’s over, you two,” Gran’ma scanned Fone Bone and me. “Remember how the Rising’s coming? Headmaster and Teacher want a meeting. You should come.”  
“We’ll be there,” Fone Bone bobbed his head.  
At least Phoney wouldn’t be there to insult Teacher’s foul-smelling Pawanian soup.  
I waved a brief goodbye to Gran’ma and led Fone Bone down a hall. “I’ll bring you to my room.”  
We headed upstairs and down another corridor, until I stopped at an archway with a deep green curtain for a door.  
“Here we are,” I pushed the curtain away to reveal the side room. “I’ve kept your things here.”  
“You knew I’d be back, didn’t you?” Fone Bone laid his suitcase on a yellow chaise.  
“I have good instincts,” I shrugged. “I sewed this for you,” I opened the closet and took out a small red robe. “In case you had to be part of another council meeting.”  
“Thank you,” he wrestled it on only to yank it off. “This robe is itchy.”  
“It’s easier to wear with underclothes,” I handed him the small tunic he wore when he first entered Atheia.  
“Thanks,” he wriggled it on, then pulled on the cloak again. “That does feel better.”  
I slipped on my cloak over my dress. “Teacher and Gran’ma will be on the balcony.”  
“Teacher likes a view, doesn’t he?” He pulled up his hood.   
I remembered our first meeting with him on his rooftop kitchen. “He certainly does.”   
We headed out, down the rest of the hall, and up a winding stairwell to a long promenade on the roof.  
Curling railings flanked the wide walkway. If the situation wasn’t about more evil spirits potentially coming, this could have been a place to enjoy.  
Gran’ma, Teacher, Headmaster, Mermie, and the rest of the council stood around the walkway.  
And in the center of it all was a ritual fire topped by a pungent-smelling pot of Pawanian soup.  
“I guess Teacher brought snacks to the meeting,” Fone Bone gagged.   
“Welcome back,” Teacher shot him a look under his hood.   
“I’m pleased you came, Your Majesty,” Headmaster bowed to me. “And the same to you,” he gestured to Fone Bone.  
“Gran’ma told me about the Rising,” I stepped into the circle. “Is there anything serious we should be concerned about?”  
“I fear acolytes of the Locust may return to harm you,” he raised his hand. “You should stay in the palace at night and alert your grandmother at once if you have any odd, vivid dreams.”  
“I will,” I nodded, “But it might be hard to sort out signs from the spirits from the dreams I’ll have thinking about the ceremony and everything with it.”  
“The ceremony is when our ancestors are closest to us,” Teacher stoked the central fire. “Your parents and Lucius Down may visit you tonight to bring messages. Is there anything else on your mind?”  
“Well, a lot of guests are here from far-off kingdoms,” I slouched my shoulders. “I often think about how to make them feel welcome here.”  
“Yes, those other duties,” he lowered the poker. “Forget the formalities until we know there is nothing of true concern.”   
“Agreed,” Headmaster nodded. “The queen’s interest should be for her people.”  
“Keeping strong alliances with the dignitaries is important, too,” I grasped my arm.  
“Yes, that’s your parents in you,” he brushed off my words.  
Teacher paused. “Did your cousins arrive here with you?” He turned to Fone Bone.  
“They always do,” he flipped up his hands. “We stick together.”  
“I just recalled all the trouble that came about from your infidel cousin,” he stirred the pot full of thick Pawanian soup. “If nightmare spirits come, they may target him again due to his negative energy. The last time I saw him, he seemed highly resistant to the Dreaming.”  
“He still is,” Fone Bone sighed. “Not even nearly becoming a sacrifice to the Lord of the Locusts could shake him.”  
“I wonder what could make him a believer,” I leaned against the balcony railing.   
A crackle of light came from nearby clouds, as if a thunderstorm was brewing. But the air was cool and dry, even windy.   
The light broke through the clouds, evaporating the ones around it into misty tendrils. The light wasn’t a bolt of electricity; it was a sparking fireball. Whatever this was, it had to be another part of the Dreaming that the Rising had brought to our world. The fireball shot a trail of light like a meteor as it blasted ahead, straight for the chimney above the third floor. Right to Phoney Bone’s room.   
Everyone stood with knees locked, but especially Fone Bone, Gran’ma, and me.  
Now I’d done it. Why had I wondered aloud what could stir faith in Phoney Bone? Half of me prayed the fireball would go past the chimney. The other half longed for it to blow the chimney up and give Phoney Bone a scare.  
But the fireball shot straight down the chimney.   
If Phoney was in the room, he was going to see it.  
“What was that?” Fone Bone panted.   
“A spirit,” Gran’ma’s eyes tightened further. “The Rising brought it here. Is anyone in that room?” She pointed to the room below the chimney.  
“Phoney Bone,” his face fell.  
“That’s not good,” she turned around. “This might be another nightmare spirit after The One Who Bears the Star.”  
Phoney was in trouble again? My gut dropped in fear and pity, but he did deserve comeuppance from the spirits.   
“I’m not sure,” Teacher’s lips pursed. “That ball of light and its energy seemed to be a house spirit.”  
“What’s a house spirit?” Fone Bone cocked his head.  
“They’re common spirits that protect homes and their masters in return for food,” Gran’ma’s eyes warmed. “But they can be mischievous and hoard the treasures of their homes. If that was a house spirit, it might be rather young; that fireball was small for them.”  
A naughty, treasure-hoarding baby spirit? Phoney was definitely in for it now.

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	6. One Bone and a Baby

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phoney Bone's miserly counting is interrupted by a young house spirit blazing down his chimney.

Chapter Six: One Bone and a Baby  
Phoney Bone

As I’d hoped, marching around the city signing paid autographs was a success. What a stash of gold I had beside me; a very full sack up to my waist. This was almost as good as finding that treasure. How many people had paid for autographs? There had been too many townsfolk to count.   
Now, I sat on a hard wooden chair beside a short table in my warm, woody cell of a guest suite.   
A light fire crackled in the hearth for the cool night, and my suitcase was empty beside my well-made bed.  
All my shirts and hats were stuffed into the wardrobe in the corner.   
I threw my money bag upon the table and poured out the bag’s jingling contents. “First, take out my $200.52,” I pushed my Boneville money to the side. “Now,” I started stacking my coins, “Ten, twenty, thirty, forty, fifty, sixty, seventy, eighty, ninety, one hundred,” my eyes gleamed, “110, 120, 130, 140, 150!” And it was all fairly mine. What would I do with all these coins? Spend them on things worthy of a hero of the Valley? No, I’d save them up for something really big. Maybe Thorn and her family could keep their treasure; I’d be satisfied with a statue in Atheia to make up for the one that was likely torn down in Boneville. What more could I want?   
Fone Bone’s words in the aerofoil floated back to me. “Haven’t you cared for anything besides your cousins and money?”   
Why did I need to think about anything more than that? I was perfectly happy as I was. I gazed over my coins again, and then to an open, empty chest beside the bed. Perfect for my money. But would Smiley come in and swap all my coins for stale bread thingies? “If only someone could keep an eye on my money for me,” I gathered up my money into a pile again. “That would be someone I’d need.”  
A pop came from the fire. A bright spark landed on the stone.  
But sparks sputtered out from fires all the time. Why did this get my attention? I turned back to my money.  
Then another pop of a spark hitting the ground. And another. And another. Sparks shot out faster and faster. Something was happening. What was happening?  
I threw myself from my seat and stood staring at the fire.  
Then, a red-gold, spark-shooting fireball blasted down from the chimney into the blaze. With rapid crackles, it fed on the fire that touched it.   
The flames made it rise and grow.   
The sparks continued to shoot out, now larger.  
The fireball burst from the hearth and bounced off the walls and ceiling, licking them all with tongues of flame.   
I flung open the door of the suite. “Water! Buckets of it! Now!”   
Maids soon rushed forward, lugging sloshing wooden pails to my door.  
“I’ve got it!” I grabbed a water-heavy pail. “Just leave the buckets to me and go back to your work! It’ll be fine!” I knew this would get me into real trouble.  
The fireball still played pinball in my room, torching the walls, ceiling, bed, and wardrobe. At least it had stayed off the table.  
I splashed water upon the walls, on the ceiling, the wardrobe, onto the bed, leaving a scorch mark on the covers. I yanked the heavy carpet from beside the bed and flung it down onto the fireball as it struck the floor. “You won’t bounce on the fancy ceiling again,” I grunted as I pressed down on the cloth.   
The fireball was rather…solid.  
Muffled, high-pitched noises came from under the carpet.   
That didn’t sound like fire. What was going on? I let go of the carpet, inched back, and stood up firm. I couldn’t look afraid.  
The carpet rustled, and a small, furry brown creature poked its head out. It blinked two large, golden yellow eyes with slit pupils. It crawled out from under the carpet, revealing front paws with thumb-like first digits, back knees upon the floor, and a long, fluffy tail. The wide, pointed ears that stuck out from its strands of hair flicked to the feeble crackles of the fire, then to my gasping breaths. It sniffed me over with its tiny snout, its whiskers forward. A word-like squeak came from its mouth. “Mah?”  
I knew it in one look. This thing was gonna stick right onto me like a too-adhesive bandage.   
“Mah!” The creature crawled forward, eyes bright.  
“Oh no no no no no,” I backed away. Whatever “Mah” was, it wasn’t me.  
The creature crept up to me, wrapped itself around my leg, and nuzzled its whiskered cheek against me with a purr. Then, its eyes peered behind me, up to the money on the table. It let go of me, darted to the chair, and scooted up it. As soon as it perched on top, it jumped onto the table.  
“Oh, geez,” I gripped my face as it sniffed the coins. “All right, get away from my money,” I threw out my hand.  
“Go!” The creature gathered up a handful of coins. What was it doing?   
Then, I halted. “Did you just say…gold?” The creature could talk? Sort of? Seeing how it crawled around, this had better not mean I was stuck with a baby.  
The creature tossed and rolled around on the coins, its rear paws up. Now I knew it was a girl. She began to lick her paws.   
“What are you?” I yanked her up under her armpits. “Some kind of…cat baby?” Who up there had sent me a cat baby? Was this some sort of a joke? The cat baby had been playing with my money. Was this the answer to my prayer for a bank guardian? But why would a divine force give me a cat baby as a bank guardian?   
The cat baby whined and pressed her back legs together. Oh no.  
“What is it?” My eyes jumped around. “Chamber pot? Litter box? Come on, tell me!”  
She mewed, and warm fluid dripped onto my feet.   
“Oh great,” my eyes lowered. Now I needed another bucket of water. And as the cat baby was covered in soot, the bucket would be a good bathtub. Hopefully she wouldn’t scratch me when I put her in water. “Bath time for the cat baby,” I brought her to the leftover bucket and plopped her in with a small splash.  
Fortunately, she didn’t scratch me. She did seem surprised by the water and rippled its surface with her paw-like hands. Then, she bent down her head and started to lap it up with her long, rough tongue.  
“Don’t do that,” I pushed her up. “This is cleaning water, not drinking water.” My eyes stopped at a pair of sponges, brushes, and soap bars left by a couple of dim-witted maids. I scooped up the implements and scrubbed down the cat baby. At least her fur was easier to wash than Bartleby’s.  
She popped a few soap bubbles as I lathered her hair.  
Then, pounding feet thumped up to my door. One of my cousins was coming, or worse, Thorn and Gran’ma Ben. If they saw me with this cat baby, I’d be even more of a laughingstock.  
“Don’t come in!” I yelled at the door.   
“Phoney!” Fone Bone’s voice called above a sharp double-knock. “Are you all right?”  
The cat baby thrust herself forward in the bucket, which tipped it over onto her and the floor with a splash.  
She giggled as she crawled under the table and left a long, wet track.   
“Get back here!” I crouched under the table and crawled after her.   
“Phoney, is someone with you?” Fone Bone’s voice sounded clearer.  
The return of his voice brought my head up—right to the table with a painful bonk.  
The cat baby scooted back around the table, then climbed onto the bed with her claws out.  
“What are you doing?” I pushed myself from under the table and stood up. “Don’t claw the bed! Get off it right now, don’t—”  
She ripped open the pillow and started to play with the flying feathers.  
“Oh, great…” I groaned.  
“Hello?” Fone Bone raised his voice. “Phoney! We need to talk!”  
“Stay right there,” I thrust my hand to the cat baby. “Don’t cause any more trouble.” I trucked to the door and threw it open.  
Fone Bone and Thorn stood before me, their faces tight. Were two weird things going on? Did they know something insane was happening to me?  
I had to keep this cat baby a secret. “Hey!” A forced smile rose to my face. “What brings you to my completely solitary miserly cell?”  
“We know something’s in there,” Thorn crossed her arms. “Fone Bone and I just attended Teacher’s council. We saw a ball of light shoot from the sky into your chimney. What’s going on?”  
I was in for it. “You must’ve seen the wrong chimney,” I edged back. “Absolutely nothing’s going on here.”  
There came a rustling of blankets.  
“I mean,” my eyes trailed to find the cat baby under the sheets, “There’s something, but it’s not dangerous.”  
“Let me see,” Thorn thrust me aside and strode in with Fone Bone.  
My teeth clenched as I watched their eyes go from the spilled bucket to the ripped pillow, and stop at the small shape under the blankets.  
Thorn yanked up the covers to reveal the cat baby.  
“Mrow?” She sat up and stared over Thorn and Fone Bone. Then, her face lit up as she reached for one of Thorn’s earrings. “Go!”  
“It’s…cute,” Thorn stared over her.  
“What is this?” Fone Bone gaped.  
“I have no idea,” I heaved in a breath. “She blasted down in a fireball. I think I wished her here.”  
“You wished her here?” Thorn batted her arm down as she climbed up her dress.  
“I just said aloud that I wanted someone to help with my money,” I spread out my arm, “And down comes a creature who loves things like my gold coins!”  
“Great,” Fone Bone threw down his hands. “You summoned a demon of greed.”  
“Fone Bone and I’ll tell Gran’ma about this,” Thorn pried the cat baby’s claws from her bodice and plopped her back on the bed. “She’ll know how to deal with her.”  
The cat baby jumped onto my shirt.   
“I’ll go with you,” I scurried after Thorn and Fone Bone. “Cleanup in my suite!” I called to a nearby maid.  
We hurried down the hall and pounded down a flight of stone stairs to the floor where Gran’ma Ben’s room was.  
Gran’ma Ben stood in her room, closing her wardrobe over her hung-up cloak.  
“Gran’ma!” Thorn darted up to her. “We found the spirit that went down Phoney’s chimney!”  
She halted. “Did you catch it?”  
“I’ve got it,” I held out the cat baby. “Um, her. What is she?” I gripped my hands as Gran’ma took her from me. “Is she a demon of greed?”  
“Not at all,” a smile came to her face. “You got yourself a juvenile common house spirit.”  
A house spirit? “What does that mean?” I drew in my arms. “Do you have a house spirit extermination ritual?”  
“They’re not vermin,” she handed her back. “In fact, one might be just the thing while we’re worried about an attack from nightmare spirits.”  
“What’s going on?” My eyes jumped from her to Thorn and Fone Bone. “I thought you were done with evil spirits.”  
“It’s the Rising,” Fone Bone held out his hand. “A period where spirit activity is high. That activity’s why you were able to summon that house spirit.”  
“But it also means the evil spirits can return,” Thorn’s eyes lowered.   
But that was their problem, not mine. “So, my house spirit’ll be a therapy pet?” My face stayed irritated.  
“House spirits defend their homes and resources,” Gran’ma Ben raised her head. “If a nightmare spirit comes to this palace, she’ll let us know.”  
“Great,” I adjusted the house spirit. “So,” I looked back at Gran’ma Ben, “Do you have any books called How to Care for your House Spirit?”  
“I don’t have any tomes with that title,” her small eyes drifted down, “But I do know house spirits enjoy food, especially milk, and large piles of riches to protect.”  
“And can they be trained to use a scratching post and litter box?” I recalled the mess of my room.   
“They can be disciplined,” she spoke after a pause. “Especially by their masters.”  
“Great,” I headed out of her room. “Thanks!”  
“Oh,” her call slowed my feet, “And if you haven’t named her yet, you should.”  
“I’ll think about it,” I sighed down.   
“So, you’ve got a house spirit,” Fone Bone strolled up to my side. “That’s great news.”  
“Great news?” My face wrinkled. “I’m stuck with a small magical animal and…you think this’ll warm my cold, dead heart, don’t you?” I gave him a drilling look.  
“It would be nice to see your better side,” he raised his shoulders.  
“I’m as good as I get,” I grumbled. “Names, names,” I looked back at the house spirit. “What can I think of besides Whiskers and Fluffy?”  
“She likes fancy things,” Thorn drew up and scanned her with me. “Jewel? Emerald? Diamond? Ruby? Jade?”  
The house spirit hissed.  
“Okay, not gem names,” she stepped back.   
“How about Argentina?” Fone Bone pitched.   
“Argentina?” I recoiled. “That sounds stupid. Silvia?” I paused at the house spirit. “You dove right into my gold, so—Goldie? Gilda?” Maybe something a little fancier. “Aura?”  
“Mew!” Her yellow eyes brightened.  
“Okay, Aura,” I firmed the name. “As I’m your master, I’m going to lay down a few ground rules. First, stay in our room unless I need to take you out for a walk or something.”  
“Good idea,” Thorn raised her shoulders. “We don’t want a house spirit wreaking havoc in the castle. She might send the guests into panic over the Rising.” She halted. “I have to get dressed for the ancestral ceremony,” she dashed off to her room.  
“Oh boy, Dia de los Muertos,” I began to lug Aura back to his own room. Hopefully the maids would have it all clean.  
“Phoney,” Thorn called me to a halt.  
“What?” I jerked around.  
“Bring Aura with you to the ceremony,” her face firmed. “We might need her if spirits come to the temple.”  
“What makes you think I want to join you at the ceremony for your dead parents?” I stepped back.  
She gave me Gran’ma Ben’s death glare.  
“Fine,” I swallowed. “Aura will make sure it’s not boring.”

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	7. The Ancestral Ceremony

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The ancestral ceremony begins, and Phoney is a disruptive infidel as usual. The ghosts of Thorn's mother, Fone Bone's mother, Phoney's father, and Lucius Down appear in the temple. They deliver a warning about the Mistress of Chaos. Thorn and the others return to the palace for dinner.

Chapter Seven: The Ancestral Ceremony  
Thorn

Some minutes later, Gran’ma and I stood in our formal gowns beside Headmaster, who carried a large, portable bronze bell on a stand.  
My heavy white collar pressed on my shoulders.  
My scalp felt tight with my hair pinned up and stuffed under my circlet.  
Teacher and the other council members stood around us with lit candles emitting a thick incense.  
The Bones, Bartleby, and the dignitaries gathered behind us, many with their hoods up in solidarity.  
Phoney held Aura, who sneezed at the incense.  
Headmaster gonged the bell with a small mallet. “Let us come to the final home of our ancestors.”  
Gran’ma and I took the first steps forward.   
The weight of the hoop in my skirts slowed my footsteps and grounded my feet. But the heaviness made the feelings within clearer. This was the fourth time I would see my mother.   
The Rising touched all spirits, including those of past souls. Would Mother speak to me again?  
Gran’ma’s eyes were raised, a clear thought in them.  
“Do you think Lucius will come?” I spoke the question in her mind.  
“I brought this bottle of Barrelhaven beer to reach out to him,” she drew a brown bottle from the folds of her cape. “If the Rising at least lets me hear his voice, it would be…” She inhaled.  
“I was thinking about Mother, too,” I took her arm.  
“I know,” she lowered her head. “The last thing Moonwort told you was to seek the Crown of Horns. Even if she can’t speak to you,” she turned to me, “I’m sure she’s proud of you.”  
I gave a smile.  
Fone Bone joined us at my left, his hand ready for mine.  
Teacher and the council began the traditional memorial chant.  
Smiley strummed along with the bell.  
Aura squirmed in Phoney’s arms and gave a restless whine.  
“Maybe the tombs will have decorative hangings to play with,” he adjusted her in his arms. “And they could have altars with fish.”  
Her eyes brightened with a mew.   
“Oh, and this march is dull for me, too,” he muttered.  
Headmaster’s face pursed.  
“I hope the banquet will have Pawanian soup,” Bartleby licked his lips.  
“Or a giant bowl of stale bread thingies,” Smiley’s eyes glistened.  
“Be respectful, you guys,” Fone Bone grumbled at them. “This is important for Thorn and Gran’ma Ben.”  
A cold breeze blew above with a movement of clouds.   
I sensed something solid with it.   
It wasn’t half-formed like the fireball, but it was unfamiliar.   
Aura’s ears perked up. “Miss.” She shot out her claws and gripped Phoney’s shirt.  
“Hey,” he pried them off. “That might hurt.”  
“What’s going on?” I turned to her. Was “Miss” me?  
Headmaster stiffened. “Something just passed us,” he quickened his steps. “If the house spirit reacted, we should be careful.”  
I put my fingers to my brow and squinted. No one else was around. At least, not ahead of us.   
“That was just the wind,” Phoney shook his head at Aura. “Nothing to scratch about.”  
The looming square of carved stone rose before us, flanked by torches and prayer shrines. Its square door was open and revealed the steps leading to the vast passageway below.  
Headmaster took the lead into the tombs, still ringing his bell. But his chimes were sharper.  
The council’s chorus changed as they followed him with me and Gran’ma.  
We climbed down the wide steps and onto the limestone passageway.   
Aura started mewling, her eyes darting from statue column to statue column.  
“I know,” Phoney sighed. “You want dinner. But the smelly old men will want to bore us here for a while.”  
Teacher and Headmaster gritted their teeth.  
The long tombs spread out before us, and the temporary altars in between.   
Prayer candles stood upon the altars, ready to be lit.  
“Look, Aura,” Phoney pointed to the guests and a few members of the council, who carried baskets of food for the altars. “That’ll tie you over.”  
Headmaster was too busy laying his bell down on an altar to tell him off. He rose to face us once more. “You are invited to light prayer candles to reach out to those who have left you for the land of the ancestors. But be careful,” he raised a finger. “The Rising has come again, and spirits are passing through the Dreaming to our world. Something may respond to us.”  
“Ghosts, shmosts,” Phoney grumbled.  
Headmaster struck the bell hard with a GONG.   
He winced. “Okay, I get the message!”  
Gran’ma laid her bottle on an altar and lit a candle. “I hope you can reach me here, Lucius.”  
I lit two candles. “Hello, Mother. Hello, Father,” my eyes lowered to their sarcophagi.  
Fone Bone carried two candles to a separate altar. “Here you go, Mom and Dad.”  
Teacher and the rest of the council lit candles for Ven and other queens before Gran’ma and me.  
The guests took candles for their own family members.  
Phoney watched the scene with narrow eyes, but took a candle and snuck off to an altar in the corner. “If this voodoo is real, Pop, please give me advice about raising a house spirit,” he inhaled and lit the wick.  
When all the candles were lit, a new blast of wind rushed through the tomb and blew the flames out.  
We stood in a sharp black space, frames stiff and cold.  
Aura whined again.  
“Ow-ow—” Phoney’s wince was audible. “Your claws are in my arm—”  
Then, a voice spoke through the darkness. The last time I had heard it was in a dream three years ago. “Thorn.”  
She was here. I knew she would come. “Mother,” I reached out my hand in the dark. “Fone Bone and I found the Crown of Horns.”   
“I am proud of you,” her voice warmed, “But a new nightmare spirit is here,” her voice tightened.  
Another spirit? “But Aura’s a house spirit,” I sputtered. “She can’t be—who are you talking about?”  
But a new female voice emerged. “Fone Bone.”  
“Mom?” His response came out quiet. “Is that you?”  
“Be careful,” the voice lowered. “Someone out there wants to poison your heart. Don’t let her make you forget what matters.”  
“I won’t,” he firmed.  
“Phoncible,” another new voice emerged.  
“Dang it,” Phoney hissed. “Look, Pop, I didn’t know I’d actually call you from the grave—”  
“You know you have the chance to end your fears, don’t you?”  
“What do you mean?” He snapped. “I’m not afraid of anything!”  
Then, a familiar voice spoke close to me. “Rose?”  
I didn’t need to see Gran’ma’s face to know what lay upon it.   
“Hello, Lucius,” she whispered.  
“Will you join me soon?” His voice softened.  
“I’m sorry,” Gran’ma drew back with a rustle. “I can’t be with you. Not yet.”  
The cold lifted.  
Headmaster and the council re-lit candles, which restored the dim light to the tomb.  
Teacher’s eyes were wide beneath his hood.   
Gran’ma finally inhaled and wiped her face. “Guests,” she turned to the nobles and the Bones, “You may return to the palace for the banquet. We will join you shortly.”  
“Let’s get out of here,” Phoney hurried to the steps.  
“Mrow? Mrow?” Aura jerked her head around, torn between the spiritual energy and dinner.   
“All right!” Bartleby bounded after him. “Time for Pawanian soup!”  
“And stale bread thingies,” Smiley strummed his banjo in a bright note.  
At least a few people kept their old spirits.  
The nobles filed out after them.  
Fiore gave me a concerned look as he took the rear.   
Headmaster slumped over an altar. “A new nightmare spirit is here? This could be anyone.”  
“But not Aura, right?” I gripped my wrist. “The house spirit?”  
“I am sure a juvenile house spirit is not a threat,” Teacher’s thick lips pressed together. “We have to watch out for anything strange. Pay attention to your dreams,” he strode forward.   
“Can the banquet go on?” I grasped my skirts. “The guests could use it to calm down after what happened.”  
“I’d advise the dignitaries not to confound themselves with food and drink,” he muttered, “But the festivities are part of the custom. You may go, Your Highness.”  
I loped out of the tomb with Fone Bone.  
“I can’t believe we’re gonna go through trouble all over again,” he shook his head down. “First the Lord of the Locusts, now this?”  
“I guess trouble happens every time Bones enter the Valley,” I flattened hair under my circlet.  
“I think our moms said a female spirit is here,” he raised his eyes. “Do you know who that could be?”  
“No,” I reached the palace’s tall arch and portcullis. “I have a feeling there’s a lot about the spirits that I don’t know yet.”  
“Hopefully she’ll be weaker than the Lord of the Locusts was,” he gripped his hand. “If our moms just announced her, she could be in a small area.”  
“Or they’re warning us before she strikes the entire Valley like the Nacht,” my mouth pressed tight as I remembered the long darkness he cast.   
Gran’ma Ben, Teacher, Headmaster, and the council walked behind.  
“I think you’re right to keep the party going,” Fone Bone breathed in. “After what happened in there, we might all need to calm down.”  
“I don’t want the guests to panic over something that’s our business,” I lengthened my steps.  
We walked past the gates, through the short courtyard, and into the palace itself.  
“We will return to our own dwellings to ponder what has happened,” Headmaster turned around to a side corridor. “You should join us, Your Majesty.”  
“I know, but the guests need me,” I headed to the grand stairwell.  
“Just like Moonwort,” he grumbled under his breath.  
Pain jabbed through me. He had heard my mother’s voice for the first time in years, and he still dismissed her?  
Fone Bone clasped his hand around mine when he saw the sharpness in my face.  
We climbed up the steps to another round arch and into the largest room in the palace.  
The marble-tiled floor stretched wide.   
The candelabras mounted on the walls were lit with glowing flames.  
Two tall windows were inset between one of them.   
A long, red-draped table nearly swallowed by trays and bowls of food stood close to a wall.  
Gran’ma and I took our thrones at the end of the ballroom.  
“I hope this won’t cause any problems,” a bittersweet smile touched my face.  
“Maybe we’d be better off in the short run if we studied with the council,” she leaned on her hand. “But a queen should have a potential army behind her.”  
My eyes looked for my friends.   
Smiley dipped stale bread thingies in small bowls of sauces, while Bartleby stuck his furry face in a cauldron of Pawanian soup.  
Phoney sat at the table with Aura. “Here’s some fish,” he handed her a shining silver plate topped with a fat piece of salmon.   
But Aura’s eyes were on the glasses upon the table. She crawled across the table, knocking the glass chalices over with crashes and tinkles.  
“Wait, what are you doing?” He tiptoed around the glass and scooped her up. “You wanted food, didn’t you?” He plopped her down in front of the fish. “Here’s your dinner!”  
Aura sniffed the food, bent down her head, and started to chew it up.  
“No, you eat it like this,” he pushed her up and stuck a fork in her hand-like paw. “If you can talk, you can hold a utensil.”  
Aura blinked at the fork, then stuck her face in the fish again.  
“Argh!” He slapped himself across the face. “Fine,” he grabbed another fork, stabbed it in the fish, and stuck the bite in her mouth. “You want to see how it works? This is how you do it.”  
A footman swept up the broken glass, his eyes wide at Phoney and Aura.  
“I’m teaching my house spirit table manners,” Phoney’s eyes narrowed. “Do you mind?”  
He darted off with the full dustpan.  
“Why do we have to be so conspicuous?” He grumbled at Aura.  
“Is dinner going well, Pops?” Smiley chortled at them.  
“Shut up,” he gritted his teeth. “Hey!” He stuck another forkful in Aura’s mouth as she leaned down again. “Don’t eat like a cat!”  
Fone Bone scanned the many dishes on the table. “I didn’t see half of these at your coronation.”  
“Most of them come from the guests,” my eyes went to the others in the ballroom. “They bring dishes of food for the banquet to show they want to keep alliances with Atheia.”  
“Or even more, considering what Mermie and the Erian captain said,” he pointed a thumb at them chatting by the window.  
“Some people make too much fuss about this celebration,” I rubbed my forehead.  
“And Headmaster would say we care too little about a new evil spirit in town,” Gran’ma half-joked.  
“You aren’t on Mermie’s side now, are you?” I lowered my hand.  
“I do think she wants to rush things,” she leaned against her throne, “But I won’t dread it if you move forward.”  
Lucius’s words to her in the tomb floated back. “I still need you for so much,” I intertwined my fingers. “Even if other people do enter my life,” my eyes drifted up to find Fiore at the banquet table next to the raja.  
He gazed over the food with a hungry smile.  
“And I don’t need that much protection,” my fingers pressed on each other’s hands.   
Especially since the evil spirit was after Fone Bone.

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	8. Thorn and Fiore

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fone Bone discusses loss with Thorn, then watches the dance after the ceremony. Phoney and Smiley plan to harass the Veni-Yan-Cari council the next morning.

Chapter Eight: Thorn and Fiore  
Fone Bone

The tomb hung in me as much as it lingered in Gran’ma Ben. I never thought I’d get another chance to speak to Mom, and she came to me after almost nineteen years. I’d forgotten her voice, how it was soft, like mine. I only remembered her face from photographs. After so much space apart, we’d touched again. But even then, she was distant.  
This was how Thorn felt about her mom, wasn’t it?  
I pulled myself back to where I was at the enormous banquet table.   
Thorn and Gran’ma Ben might like it if I got dinner for them.  
I picked up two clean plates, scanned the dishes, and stopped at the ones I’d seen in the Valley. “They’d love the roast beef,” I flipped two slices onto their plates. “Some greens with it,” I took a pair of tongs near a bowl full of spicy-looking leaves and dropped bunches beside the roast beef. “And finally, for the starch,” I drew up to a wide platter and Smiley Bone, “Stale bread thingies.”  
But Smiley had moved from the stale bread thingies to long, flat pepper crackers on the other side of the sauces. “Are you sure you should be giving the queen stale bread thingies?” He snapped off the end of a cracker.  
I stopped at the plain pieces of bread. Maybe he was right. “What are those crackers?”  
“They’re papadum,” he crunched up more of the cracker. “They’re a little spicy, but really good. Fiore said they were great, so, I had to try them, and I can’t get enough.”  
Fiore introduced them? “I’ll give Thorn and Gran’ma Ben papadum instead,” I moved around Smiley and dropped four papadum onto the plates. “Why aren’t you torturing Phoney the way you always do?”  
“Phoney’s bothered by that house spirit, so I have to annoy someone else,” he raised his hands.  
“Bug the council,” I headed back to the thrones. “Teacher and Headmaster need a few nips.”  
“I’ll find them tomorrow morning,” he tipped his hat.  
I had enough problems. First that prince showed up and caught Thorn’s eye, now there was an evil spirit after me. Wasn’t Thorn the one who was in danger from nightmare spirit attacks? I had to protect her, not be the one who needed help. Who was this evil spirit? Hopefully she was weaker than the Locust. Could I find anything out with Thorn?  
I laid forks and knives on the plates, then carried the plates over to the thrones. “I got you dinner,” I handed them to Thorn and Gran’ma Ben.   
“Thank you,” Thorn took one of the plates.  
“Aren’t you the gentleman,” Gran’ma Ben stabbed her roast beef.  
“I know you’re thinking a lot about what happened,” I dropped my shoulders. “I wanted to make things easier for you.”  
Thorn lifted some of the greens to her mouth. “How did you feel hearing your mother’s voice?”  
“Pretty much the same way you felt hearing your mom,” I slouched against the throne. “I had to live with my cousins when I was three years old. It’s been almost nineteen years.” I could barely remember the last day and the sad ones after.  
“Nineteen years…” She did the math. “You never told me we’re the same age,” she stared over me.  
“Smiley’s twenty-five, and Phoney will be twenty-eight close to January,” I recalled their birthdays.  
“There’s a lot we have to learn about each other,” she chuckled.  
“I guess so,” I gazed into her eyes. But the afternoon pricked me, and my eyes lowered. Would she ever see me the way I hoped she would?  
“I know you’re worried,” she patted my head.  
“You do?” My eyes lifted again.  
“When I was hunted by the Lord of the Locusts, part of me felt like I couldn’t trust anyone,” her face tightened. “Gran’ma lying to me and us having to leave the farm only made it worse. But when you were around, I could never fully close myself off,” a smile touched her face again. “I want to return the favor.”  
“You don’t understand,” I turned away.  
“Look,” she spoke up, “I know you wanted to protect me when we faced the Locust. You heard about how the Nacht went for me first. Us trading places must be something you never imagined.”  
“Yeah,” I swallowed. “Why does this evil spirit, whoever she is, want to go after me? I don’t have a piece of the Locust anymore.”  
“That’s what we’ll find out with the council tomorrow morning,” Gran’ma Ben stood up. “The palace has a fine underground library full of legends of the spirits. Whatever is after you will be in one of those volumes.”  
Spirit legends? “Phoney and Aura could come too,” my eyes jumped to them still struggling at the table. “Phoney did want a house spirit guide.” Then, my insides stopped. I told Smiley to bug the council. If we were with them… “I think Smiley might be interested as well,” I put it in the best terms. “He could pop in to see us tomorrow.”  
“Well, the more, the merrier,” she took a plate from the table and filled it for me.  
“Thanks!” I lit up.   
“What was this about inviting us to something?” Phoney lugged Aura over to us with a slice of roast beef and a fork.  
“We’re going to join the council in the palace library to try to find out what spirit is after me,” I scooped up lentils from my plate. “The library’s got lots of books about legends.”  
“So, you think they’ll have a book about house spirits?” He cut the roast beef. “You and Thorn can let us into the library after you do your business; I don’t like being stuck with those boring hooded people.”  
I wanted to exhale in relief; I’d just have to worry about Smiley in the morning. “Could we bring you down after lunch?” I moved onto the spicy greens.  
“Fine,” he stuck a piece of roast beef in Aura’s mouth. “I heard Smiley’s joining you. He must’ve realized Aura laid him off from his job as my torturer and moved onto the council instead.”  
“What?” Thorn’s eyebrows jumped up.  
“Yeah…” I shifted my weight. “I—suggested he bug them because they could do with a little stirring up.”   
“Well, it can be satisfying to see Teacher and Headmaster get annoyed,” she lowered her fork and stood up with her plate. “I wonder what he’ll do.”  
“If you’ll be in the library, he’ll probably be singing loudly and playing his banjo,” Phoney fed Aura some more. “That always angered Mrs. Worm-Bone.”  
The image of Smiley singing Home on the Range to Teacher while he tried to read a heavy, dusty volume came too quickly to mind. “The council definitely won’t like that,” I finished the greens and went to the chicken.  
“What if they snap his banjo and kick him out on his rear like Mrs. Worm-Bone did the last time?” A malicious grin came to his face. “Now I want to join you and Thorn.”  
“Teacher could say he liked the music, invite Smiley to his kitchen for lunch, then stuff him with his worst soup,” Thorn came back from handing off her plate to a maid.  
“Oh, that would be awful,” he pointed to her.   
I leaned against my empty plate on the arm of her throne. “I’m stuffed.”  
Aura let out a great belch right in Phoney’s face.  
“Excuse you,” he wrinkled his nose.  
“All right,” Gran’ma Ben handed off her empty plate to a footman and rose from her throne. “We’ve had a fine dinner that honors our alliances, now I believe we should dance it off before we drag ourselves to bed. Strike up, Pipers!” She snapped her fingers. “Let’s begin with the cog reel.”  
What was the cog reel?  
A small group of people gathered from the crowd of guests. Each person carried a different instrument; there was a fiddle, a flute, a drum, a trumpet, a tambourine, and a mandolin. The musicians began to play a lively, rhythmic tune punctuated by clapping hands.  
Pairs of people circled each other and changed places across the floor.   
They lit an idea in me. Thorn wanted us to enjoy the calm we had. “Do you want to dance?” I held out my arms to her.  
“That would take my mind off of the spirits,” she rose and took them. “Can I join the guests?” She looked to Gran’ma Ben.  
“Enjoy yourselves,” she let us go. “There’ll be time to worry in the morning.”  
I led her around in a circle, copying the moves of the other dancers. As I skipped and clapped with Thorn, the events in the tomb began to lift from me.  
The candles glowed brighter, and the floor barely touched my feet.  
Even when the other dancers changed partners, Thorn and I stayed together round after round.  
Then, she dropped my hands. “Fone Bone,” she chuckled, “I like being your dancing partner, but is it okay if I switch to your cousins for a bit?”  
“Okay,” I stepped back. I’d dance with her again later.  
The music quickened, and the dance with it.  
“My turn!” Smiley swept up Thorn in one arm, the other arm holding a one-stringed banjo. “Yeehaw!”  
The dancers swept up and twirled their partners, then they switched again.  
“Your Majesty?” A man in a turban bowed to Thorn.  
“You may,” she took his hands.  
My stomach twisted at the man’s shining dark eyes and well-cut features.  
The two circled and clapped, then a man with a large nose ring and heavy brown mustache took Thorn’s arm. At least he wasn’t that attractive.  
Smiley danced to the back with the minstrels and joined their music.  
When Thorn and the Pawan finished their circle, she spun from him to a familiar young man in a blue tunic.  
When they touched hands, everything stopped.  
The fiddlers switched their instruments to violins and began a slow, smooth waltz.  
Thorn dropped one hand and brought it to Fiore’s shoulder.  
He hooked his other arm around her waist.   
“Hello again,” her eyes lowered with a giggle.  
“Same here, Your Majesty,” he circled her around. “This must be the first ancestral ceremony where we’re together for more than a minute.”  
“You’re too right,” she lifted her eyes. “I never thanked you for bringing my friends back to me.”  
“It’s all right,” he swung out from her. “You’re making it up to me with this time.”  
“How was the ceremony?” She touched his shoulder again.   
“It was—something,” he led her in a circle again. “I know it meant much more to you.”  
“You do?” She raised an eyebrow.  
“Just because I’ve barely spoken to you, doesn’t mean I haven’t read about what you’ve endured,” his smile lowered.   
Her face dropped as well.   
“I’m sorry,” he let go of her hands.  
“No,” she took his shoulders. “It’s all right to think about it. You don’t have to worry.” Her eyes traced around. “Most of the guests want to avoid my past, too.”  
“They’re not just afraid to upset you,” the light crept back into Fiore’s eyes as he took her waist. “The men here haven’t come close to your achievements.”  
“One doesn’t always get to fight an evil spirit, an army, and an enormous rat creature,” she gave a bittersweet smile. “Did the spirits scare you?”  
“It was a bit of a shock, but time and festivities have calmed me down,” he lifted her up and twirled her back to the floor.  
They spun apart and clasped each other again.  
The trumpets helped the violins lift the waltz into a full, majestic sound.  
Slowly, the grandeur receded.  
Candles went out, and the floor seemed to shrink.  
Everyone disappeared except for Thorn, Fiore, and me.  
My downcast eyes followed them across the wide floor, and the old feeling of distance came back. How could I have assumed Thorn wouldn’t think of other guys again? She’d gotten the time to move on from Tom.  
The velvet tablecloth suddenly brushed my back.  
“Come on, Quasimodo,” Phoney pushed me along with one arm, the other holding Aura. “A little dessert might make you feel better.”  
“Mew?” Aura’s ears perked up.  
“The sweet thing after dinner, like ice cream,” I looked down at her. “Does she like milk?” I cocked my head to Phoney.  
“Probably,” he shrugged. “Excuse me,” he shoved us through guests loitering on the ballroom floor. “We have to go to the kitchen to raid the ice box.”

———————————————————————————————————————


	9. If Pizza be the Food of Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The two stupid rat creatures show up to scavenge around the palace, then they catch a whiff of a new, delicious smell. They sneak into the kitchens, discover a new dinner pie, and run into Phoney and Fone Bone.

Chapter Nine: If Pizza be the Food of Love   
Stinky

The palace had been busy recently; servants everywhere, some of them accidentally dropping food for us to snatch.  
Lots of humans had arrived on large animals like horses.   
A big party was happening; the humans called it the ancestral ceremony.  
The large palace windows lay a few yards before us, candles flickering within.  
A gentle waltz permeated through.  
But Smelly and I were crouched in the bushes outside. If the humans saw us at the windows, they’d chase us into the woods. The guards on the parapets might even shoot arrows.  
“What are they celebrating again?” Smelly leaned closer to the window.  
“Some ceremony where they go to their fancy burial ground to see their dead relatives,” I scratched my head. “I heard one of the short stickeaters say the queen should use the party as a chance to mate.”   
“Mate?” Smelly’s mouth dropped open. “And have pups just like her and the old cow woman?” He shuddered. “We’d never be able to hide around here and steal scraps with her litter around.”  
“And the queen will mate with someone just like her,” my fangs clenched. “If he goes hunting, we might not be able to be around the palace woods.”  
“What little luxury dining we have will be gone!” He threw out his furry arms.   
“We have to enjoy this while we can,” I cupped my face in my claws. When would we have dinner? My stomach engaged in a baritone-bass duet with Smelly’s.  
“If there’s a party in that palace, there has to be a banquet,” he put his claw to his empty stomach.  
“The banquet might even include quiche,” I moaned. I could just smell it. Bread, cheese, and—what was that? My snout raised. This wasn’t quiche. But it was similar.  
Smelly sniffed about as well. “What is that?” He licked his lips as he drew forward.  
“You smell it, too?” My heart quickened a little.  
“Is it cheesy? A little greasy?” His eyes widened.  
“Yes, and it’s baked and cooked…” his eyes glittered. “But we can’t go out there,” he pulled himself straight. “The guards will see us,” he pointed to the parapet.  
“You can’t just let go of a chance to try a delicious food,” my red eyes narrowed. “What if it’s a new quiche recipe?”  
He halted, his mouth gripped. “All right,” his voice lowered with a sigh. “But we’re going to sneak right to the kitchen window.”  
We edged from the bushes on our stomachs, snouts up at the smell.   
The festivities and night shadows kept the guards from seeing us.  
We reached the long kitchen window and peered through it.  
“No one’s in here, Stinky,” Smelly pushed the window open and slid inside. “We can grab some food and leave.”  
I climbed after him.  
A large, earthy room stretched out before us.  
People in rough brown clothes and polished green ones bustled about a wide wooden table and various cooking implements.  
Then, all eyes swiveled onto us. Mouths dropped open. “AAAAHHH!” The servants bolted from the kitchen. “Rat creatures! In the kitchen!”  
“They’re gonna tell the queen!” I gripped my head. “And the old cow woman!” She’d beat us up again!   
“Come on,” Smelly swept his claw to the table. “Don’t you want quiche?”   
Sure enough, a fat quiche lay on the table, its crust green and gold.   
But a new dish sat beside it. It was a dinner pie as well, but with red sauce and melted cheese. This was where the aroma came from.  
Wide, fanged smiles stretched across our faces.  
“Let’s try this out,” Smelly stuck his claws into the new pie. He pulled out a piece covered in elastic cheese and bit off the tip. His eyes bulged and lit up.  
“How is it?” I cut into the quiche.  
“It’s-it’s amazing!” He chomped off more. “It’s all we smelled and even more! It’s as great as quiche!”  
“I’ve got to have some,” I sliced himself a piece and took a bite.   
Cheese and the new sauce rushed through my mouth in warmth.   
“Oh, this is wonderful,” I licked my lips. “We have to have all of it.” What gave the servants the wonderful idea to make this? What was this even called?  
Then, voices and feet drew up to the door.  
“Those servants have nothing to worry about,” a familiar grouchy voice came to our keen ears. “The only rat creatures stupid enough to break into the castle are Smelly and Stinky.”  
Why did people always think we were stupid? Wasn’t it smart to realize hanging around a domestic space was the best way to find food?  
The door opened to reveal the chewy small mammal, right next to the soft one.  
A furry brown creature with large yellow eyes lay in the chewy small mammal’s arm. Was it a cat? But it had long hair, and its paws didn’t look right. It also emitted a lot of Dreaming energy. The last person we’d seen with energy like that was the Hooded One. At least this creature wasn’t scary.   
“Should we attack them?” My fanged mouth tensed.  
“Nah, we have this,” Smelly raised his piece of pie and took a bite out of it.  
“Hey! Smelly and Stinky!” The soft small mammal waved. “Long time, no see! I didn’t know Atheia had pizza.”  
“Pizza?” I blinked. That’s what this delicious new pie was?  
“It must be one of the foreign dishes,” the chewy small mammal’s unibrow lowered. “Classic cheese.”  
The creature in his arm reached out a paw-like to us. “Wha?”  
“Those are rat creatures,” his eyes narrowed. “Smelly and Stinky.”  
“And what is that, chewy small mammal?” I pointed to the creature. “It has a strong connection to the Dreaming.”  
“This is Aura, my personal house spirit,” he strode up to the ice box and pulled it open. “She’s not food.”  
A house spirit?   
“But those are only beings of common human legend,” Smelly tried to scoff. “You stuck horses tails on a cat.”  
“You guys didn’t hear what’s going on, did you?” The soft small mammal dragged a stool up to the pantry.  
“The ancestral ceremony where the queen will mate and spawn a litter of pups that will chase us away from scavenging about this palace?” I offered.  
He paused, then opened the pantry. “It’s also the Rising.”  
“The Rising?” Smelly’s ears stiffened straight. “That centurial event is true?”  
This couldn’t be. Some of those stickeaters didn’t even believe in it.  
“We just went to the royal tombs and talked to dead people,” the chewy small mammal took out a metal tin of something labeled Gelato. “I don’t know what the Rising is, but if it’s why all this new mumbo-jumbo is happening, then it’s gotta be real.”  
“Legends say it is when the border between the Dreaming and the mundane world vanishes,” I stuffed another piece of pizza in my mouth. “Spirits enter this world and restore its Dreaming energy.”  
“You mean, when people here get too realistic, along comes the pixie dust to make everyone believe in magic again?” He batted his eyes.  
“The Rising is not a tale for pups!” Smelly hissed. “Our kind spent a whole year afraid the Jekk will return!”  
“Wait, the Rising goes on for a year?” The soft small mammal brought down a cookie tin.  
“A complete cycle,” I swallowed my pizza and traced a circle. “From one harvest beginning to the next.”  
“So, in exactly 365 days, the realms should be separate again,” he opened the tin.   
“But if all the legends are true, the time in between will be unbelievable,” Smelly gripped his claws. “Dragons will roam the entire Valley!”  
“There’ll be overgrown insects of all kinds!” Another tale of the Rising jumped into me.   
“And stickeaters!” He added with his mouth full of quiche. “Lots of stickeaters!”  
“Do nightmare spirits come?” The soft small mammal had a tension in his eyes.  
“Oh, their tales are awful,” I swept out my claw. “The barren midwife, a ghost who steals unborn pups.”  
“The wandering fog, who lures creatures off cliffs to their deaths,” Smelly stabbed his quiche.  
“And the Mistress of Chaos,” I shuddered at her stories.  
“The who?” The chewy small mammal stuck a spoon in the house spirit’s mouth.  
“The Mistress of Chaos, the spirit of discord!” I bit into the last piece of pizza. “When she roams the Earth, the entire Valley is at war with itself. Some say she is equal to the Lord of the Locusts.”  
“The spirit who’s after you had better not be her,” the chewy small mammal shook his head at his kin.  
“You’re being hunted?” Smelly leaned forward.  
“By a spirit who wants to ‘poison my heart,’ whatever that means,” the soft small mammal sighed.  
“That sounds just like the—” I tried to speak.   
Then, the kitchen doors were kicked open.  
The old cow woman stood before us, flanked by the queen and a group of men in various sorts of attire.  
All had their swords out.  
And one cape-wearing human looked especially angry when his gray eyes stopped at the empty pizza dish in front of me.  
“Hello, Fiore,” the chewy small mammal’s eyes lit up. “Thanks for the gelato. Did you bring the pizza, too?”  
Tight grins clenched our faces.  
“Thanks for the food,” I waggled my claw.  
“Gotta run!” Smelly seized my scruff, and we scrambled out the window.   
Okay, maybe we shouldn’t have eaten the quiche and the pizza. Our stomachs weighed us to the ground as we scampered from the palace as fast as we could.  
I looked over my shoulder to see the party of humans outside the servants’ entrance, just adjacent to the kitchen.  
“Does this often happen at the palace?” The cape-wearing human turned to the queen.  
“Those two rat creatures hang around, but they’ve never broken into the kitchen before,” she shook her head.  
“Then this will be quite the story to tell my parents and brother when I go home,” he turned back into the palace.  
I froze. Go home?   
“He’s leaving?!” Smelly grabbed my shoulders. “We have to do something! We have to always have this delicious…what did the small mammals call it?”  
“Pizza?” I pushed him off me.  
“Pizza!” He gripped his claws. “We have to get that cape-wearing human to stay! But how?”  
It was insane. But the queen would thank us, and if she did, we might not get chased away. “I’ve got it,” it lit in me. “That whole party was to encourage the queen to find someone to mate with. If we help the cape-wearing human get the girl, Atheia will have pizza for decades.”  
“Or centuries if they continue the dynasty,” Smelly licked his lips. “But you want to risk us getting exiled for pizza?”  
“The queen will thank us for helping her continue her family line,” I held out my claw. “We could even get fresh food.”  
“Oh, yes,” he rubbed his belly.  
“All right then,” I led the way back into the woods. “Let’s begin our plans for matchmaking.”  
“Absolutely,” he nodded. “Wait, matchmaking?” His red eyes popped. “Do you mean we’ll have to do things like luring them to the lagoon, then singing calypso?”  
“Do you want pizza or not?” I crossed my arms.  
“Fine!” He took in a sharp breath. “We’ll humiliate ourselves!”  
A cold breeze brushed our backs. “What is this?” A woman’s sultry voice spoke in our ears.  
Our fur jerked up before we saw her.  
She didn’t have to emit energy like the house spirit to let us know she was from the Dreaming.  
A slender female figure soared around to face us, her body made of translucent gray smoke.  
The smoke swirled up to form short, thick tendrils of hair that spread from her face.  
Her eyes were glowing sparks.  
“Who are you?” Smelly sputtered and heaved in a breath.  
“Oh, just someone who wants the same thing as you,” she raised a thin, wispy arm to her narrow face. “The queen to be in marital happiness with that…cape-wearing human.”  
What was his name again? I’d heard it from the chewy small mammal. “Theodore?”  
“Fiore,” Smelly corrected.  
“Right, Fiore,” I gulped. “Why do you want to help us? What sort of spirit are you?”  
“A nuptial spirit, obviously,” she cartwheeled. “I encourage mating,” her voice quickened, “Producing pups so that spirits will always have beings on Earth to communicate with,” her voice slowed and lowered to normal. “If you want pizza to stay in Atheia, we need to work together.”  
“How?” I edged back.   
“I heard the queen already has an admirer,” her sparks of light seemed to lift. “You could see what he does, perhaps even get in his way.”  
“You mean the soft small mammal?” Smelly blinked. “The one who writes that awful love poetry?”  
“Right,” I gave a half-nervous laugh. “On your feet, you have ten toes, they look just like potatoes!”  
The spirit laughed with me, a low laugh that almost echoed. “Fiore should see some of his poetry. If it’s not useful, he might find it good for a laugh with the queen.”  
“What are you going to do?” Smelly backed up against a tree.  
“I can fly all around the palace,” her body vanished, but her voice remained. “Learn what they want, what can bring them together, and what can break them apart,” she rematerialized with a hungry glow in her eyes. “How about we see each other tomorrow night with our progress?”  
“That works for me,” Smelly held his claws close.  
“Excellent,” she soared off and disappeared into the shadows.  
Slowly, we exchanged glances.  
A nuptial spirit who wanted to sabotage the soft small mammal? Why had she petrified us? Another insane thought rose in me. “Was that…the Mistress of Chaos?”

———————————————————————————————————————


	10. Melville Intolerance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phoney has too much fun knocking people out by talking about "Moby Dick."

Chapter 10: Melville Intolerance  
Phoney Bone

The Valley really was never boring. Heck, with Aura, the Rising, and that evil spirit after Fone Bone, things might be more exciting more often this time.  
After Fone Bone, Aura, and I watched Smelly and Stinky skedaddle into the woods, we turned around and joined everyone else heading back to the ballroom.  
“Fone Bone,” I turned to him, “Do you think today was more exciting than the first time we came to the Valley?”  
“Nothing can beat getting separated by a swarm of locusts and winding up in new territory for the very first time,” he shook his head down. “But I’m not going to forget this day for a while.”  
“First I get chased out of Boneville again, then ghost dragons crash our aerofoil,” I counted off on my fingers, “We meet your caped rival over there,” I pointed to Fiore’s back, “We reunite with Thorn and Gran’ma Ben, a baby house spirit blasts down my chimney, we learn about a crazy event called the Rising that’ll stick us here for another year, then we go to an ancestral ceremony where we hear dead people.”   
“The ball and reuniting with the rat creatures were some of the duller events,” he put a hand to his head. “Something tells me this adventure might be different than the last one.”  
“Things won’t be boring anytime soon,” I nodded. “Or are you referring to being the damsel in distress this time?”  
His face clenched. “I won’t be a ‘damsel in distress.’”  
“Sure, fight against it,” I raised my hand. “But Thorn’s gonna be getting you out of trouble this year, not the other way around.”  
“We don’t even know what exactly this evil spirit will do,” he held out his arm.  
“From what your mom said, it sounded like the evil spirit will bring out the worst in you.” I almost looked forward to it.  
“The evil spirit will have a hard time doing that,” he crossed his arms. “I won’t let anything get to me.”  
“Not even Prince Fiore of Eria?” I pointed to him again. “With your girl?”  
That made Fone Bone’s mouth fall open.   
“I’m sorry I was just angry about the rat creatures eating my food,” Fiore walked with Thorn. “They ate one of your dishes as well.”  
“That was the quiche,” she chuckled. “They’ve always loved getting their claws on it.”  
“Why do they like quiche?” He raised an eyebrow.  
“No idea,” she shrugged. “Maybe some farmers had a picnic in the woods, left it out, and the rat creatures tried it.”  
“Hopefully they won’t be too disappointed that they won’t have many chances to have pizza,” his eyes lowered. “I thought they were carnivores.”  
“They’re mostly scavengers,” she touched her chin. “That’s why they can eat plants and meat. They do hunt small animals, though.”  
“So, they’re like dogs,” he raised a finger. “In diet, anyway.”  
“They can be like dogs in behavior, too,” she shook her head. “Begging for food, not very bright, acting scarier than they are…”  
“Are there other rat creatures around here?” His eyes traced about.  
“Not around the palace,” her face firmed. “They’re common in the north Valley. You must run into them when you travel down here,” her eyes focused.  
“They keep the guard busy,” he nodded. “Some of my officers think chasing them off is the best part of the journey.”  
“I’m glad to hear other people are satisfied by a good rat fight,” Gran’ma Ben raised her head.  
Fone Bone’s face drooped lower.  
“Never thought you’d have girl troubles again, did you?” I sighed to him. “You should’ve remembered you’re not her type.”  
“But I had this whole adventure with her, and I thought…” he put his brow in his hand.  
“It’s been three years,” I threw out my free hand. “Of course she’d think of other guys. Look, I kind of feel sorry for you, but accept that Thorn’s a lost cause.”  
Aura whined and squirmed again.  
Uh oh. “What do you want now?” I looked down at her. “I just fed you.”  
“Maybe she’s tired,” Fone Bone flipped up his hands.  
“So, what do you want me to do?” I snapped. “Embarrass myself in public singing a lullaby?”   
Then, an idea struck and spread my old evil grin across my face.   
Fone Bone got Smiley to harass the council instead of me.  
I ought to return the favor.  
“What are you thinking?” He caught the gleam in my eyes.  
“I was just wondering,” I bounced Aura, “If you brought Moby Dick.”  
“It’s in my suitcase up in my room,” he pointed to the ceiling. “Do you think it’ll get Aura to sleep?”  
“Seeing how it makes even rat creatures pass out, yeah,” I shrugged. “And I don’t even need the book to remember all the really boring stuff. Aura,” I focused her gaze, “Uncle Fone Bone has a great book I’d like to tell you about; Moby Dick.”  
Fone Bone was caught between irritation and interest.  
“Moby Dick’s a big novel written by Herman Melville,” I slowed down my voice to enhance the soporific effect. “All about a guy named Ishmael,”  
Aura’s furry eyelids began to lower as she yawned and revealed several small fangs.  
“A peg-legged captain named Ahab,” I continued to drone, “A giant white sperm whale named Moby Dick, and lots of whale-hunting.”  
Aura shut her eyes and curled up in my arm.  
Fone Bone blinked at her, then his eyes narrowed. “It worked.”  
“I know,” I waved my hand, “It’s so boring, even spirits can’t tolerate it.” I walked past him and up to Fiore’s side in a casual fashion. Here came my favor to Fone Bone. “Hey, Sire,” I skipped with his footsteps. “Have you heard of the book Moby Dick?”  
“No,” he drew an arm in. “Who wrote it?”  
“Herman Melville, one of the greatest authors in Boneville,” I donned an eager grin. “Anyway, Moby Dick is about—”  
“What are you doing?” Fone Bone jerked my head around.  
“Is something wrong?” Fiore’s eyes jumped between us.  
He drew back. “Um…it’s just that-that book isn’t very interesting to most people.”  
“It won’t be too boring to me, as I’ve never heard of it,” Fiore’s eyes firmed on me. “What’s Moby Dick about?”  
Thorn and Fone Bone exchanged glances of dread.  
“It’s the best novel about whale-hunting,” I suppressed my evil grin. “In the old days, Bones used to go out to sea and hunt whales, aquatic mammals of tremendous size,” I donned a lofty tone. “Most of the whale-hunters worked around the island of Bonetucket, which is part of the little state of Metatarsetts.”  
“Ohh…” Fiore rubbed his eyes.   
“Whales were sources of many products for Bones,” I kept my nostalgic tone. “Sperm whales had oil used for lamps, cooking, margarine, candles, soaps, cosmetics, perfumes—”  
He dropped backwards to the floor with a THUMP.  
“Fiore?” Thorn dropped down at his side and shook his shoulder.  
But he slept on.  
Apparently, Moby Dick was more potent at night after dinner. This would make the first night with Aura easier, too.   
Fone Bone’s wide eyes jumped from me to the scene on the floor. “Phoney!”  
“Sure, thank me later,” I scuttled away into the ballroom.   
Thorn was gonna kill me once Fiore was taken care of.  
“What’s going on, cuz?” Smiley strolled over. “Trying to get away from more problems? I heard something nuts happened in the kitchen.”  
“The two stupid rat creatures broke in,” I pushed him into a corner. “But that’s not why I’m in trouble.”  
“Your house spirit doesn’t seem to be why,” he petted her belly. “Looks like the party wore her out.”  
My face tensed. “I told her about Moby Dick.”   
“That explains it,” he raised his eyes. “You got busted for knocking out your house spirit?”  
“Not my house spirit,” I looked back at the entranceway. “I knocked out Fiore to repay Fone Bone for getting you to harass the council. But Fone Bone didn’t take it too well.”  
“I still can’t understand why he finds that sleep-aid entertaining,” Smiley leaned against the wall, watched people bustle by within earshot, and noticed some had their eyes on us. “Well, I suppose everyone’s excited by something, even if it’s a long story about oversized aquatic mammals nearly driven extinct by human greed. Say,” he studied Aura, “She came down your chimney, didn’t she? Bartleby saw a blast of lightning outside.”  
“That was her,” I remembered how she wrecked my room.  
“Her arrival reminded me of St. Elmo’s fire,” he spread out his hand. “That lightning phenomenon on masts that Herman Melville talks about in Moby Dick.”  
A nearby maid fell forward, her face right into her tall tray of gelatin.  
“Oops,” he put his hand to his mouth in an innocent gesture.  
“What happened?” Mermie darted over.   
“Oh, nothing,” I helped Smiley with his first attack on the council. “We were just talking about Moby Dick, and she keeled over.”  
“It’s nothing to worry about,” he held out his arm. “Some people get so bored when they hear about ships on long voyages to catch sperm whales for meat and other things, they just—”   
Mermie flopped on top of the maid.  
“You know,” I dragged the gelatin tray out from under them, “This could be fun.”  
“Let’s do Teacher next!” Smiley trotted towards the banquet table, where Teacher refilled the Pawanian soup. “Hey, Teach,” he tipped his hat.  
“What are you two infidels doing here?” His narrow black eyes sharpened.  
“We just wanted to let you know we respect great knowledge and literature more than you think,” he donned a stiff expression. “In Boneville, we read a compelling old story called Moby Dick.”  
“And what is that about?” His lip curled.  
“A guy named Ishmael who goes on a ship to help a one-legged sea captain hunt a giant white sperm whale,” Smiley’s voice softened in awe. “That whale’s the Moby Dick in the title. There’s also a headhunter named Queequeg, and lots of stuff about—”  
Teacher fell backwards and clocked his head on the table.  
“Ouch,” I winced. “I wonder where Headmaster is.”   
“Phoney!” Fone Bone shouted across the ballroom. “That’s enough!”   
“What?” I lifted my eyes to the vaulted ceiling.  
“Stop—talking—about Moby Dick!” He stormed over to me and Smiley.  
“Now, what makes you think we’re talking about Moby Dick?” Smiley lit a cigar. “People might just be ready for bed.”  
“No one just collapses on the floor,” he threw out his arm down to Teacher. “Are you taking pleasure from abusing a respected piece of literature?”  
“Oh, come on,” I rolled my eyes. “Knocking people out by talking about something isn’t a wee bit enjoyable?”  
“It’s not funny,” he gritted his teeth. “Your idea to repay me for getting Smiley away from you completely backfired. Gran’ma Ben and Thorn are dragging Fiore out!”   
“Your plans always go wrong, don’t they?” Smiley puffed smoke in my face. “Starting from all the disasters leading up to your fateful mayoral campaign.”  
The grand ambitions toppling weighed down my mind. “This time I’m thinking practically,” I pointed my stubby finger close to his nose. “No elaborate schemes unless I have the money.”  
“Or an escape vehicle,” he elbowed me.  
“Fine, we’ll gather up the Queen just in case,” I grumbled. “But the people here are dumber than the Bones; we won’t have to worry about leaving until next fall.” Not to mention we’d be stuck here until next fall, anyway.

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End file.
